Meet me in the dark
by BreeRizzles
Summary: She didn't know, why she was here... She didn't know that I had called her... that I was watching her, hidden in the dark. She had no clue, how much I wanted her to see me, talk to me... but that could never happen, cause getting to know me would mean, getting to know her own past... and how I changed her path... and she would hate me for that.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1.**

It was Maura Isles 36. birthday and like any other day, she had spent it alone.

Her mother had send a birthday card from Rome a couple of days ago, wishing her success and luck for the upcoming year, without any emotion or warmth in it.

Well, what a surprise!

Maura read it and tried to swallow the lump in her throat, that had built up regarding the few cold words, scribbled on the back of the card.

_"Darling,_

_I wish you all the success in the world and good luck in reaching the goals you have set for the upcoming year. Make me proud. Your mother, Constance."_

That was it.

No "_I`ll be thinking of you_.", no "_I`ll call you later_.", no "_I wish I was with you today_." and of course no "_I love you_." at the end of her note.

Had she ever heard those words from her mother? Maura wondered...

She had been working late, like on any other day and after that, she had ordered some Japanese food to share with her only friend, her giant tortoise- Bass.

He slowly stuck out his head and Maura smiled at the way, how greedy he ate his green salad- at least for a tortoise.

She patted his big brown shell and gazed up, out of her kitchen window, to see the silver moon shine brightly against the black sky.

Something inside of her felt weird. It was the same feeling every year on her birthday and she still couldn`t managed to figure out, what it was.

She felt empty. Like she was missing something, she had lost a long time ago, but she couldn`t remember what it was.

Was she just lonely?

No. She was used to being alone. She had always been.

Whenever she had to attend all those horrible business meetings and parties, she always felt like the alien with the three heads.

She would smile politely and nod while hoping, that nobody would try to talk to her.

If it happened, she would start to google mouth and throw medical terms that nobody would understand und everyone would just frown and fake a smile until she would turn around to get some more punch.

She knew, they would talk behind her back. Laugh at her. The social awkward geek.

She was used to it.

But tonight, it felt like something... no, someONE was missing.

"I`ll be right back, Bass. Take good care of the house- I`m counting on you, okay?", she said and smiled a tired smile at the giant animal as she took the keys and shut the front door.

It was late august and the air was still sticky and warm.

She loved to be able to just walk outside without a coat or anything and still feel comfortable.

She started walking without thinking.

She crossed some streets and slowly entered the park with its giant old trees, which looked lovely and mysterious by the pale light of the moon.

The crickets sang and some bats were hunting bugs and moths over the little lake she had just approached and wondered if it had always been there.

Thousands of tiny lights shimmered like a million stars dancing on its surface and it looked almost magical...

She sat down on an old wooden bench and took a few deep breaths, inhaling the rich sent of nature, as far as you could call it so- in the middle of the city.

She just sat there. Waiting.

For what? Or... who?

_**There she was. Sitting in the darkness. By herself. **_

_**Gazing up to the stars and their lights reflected in the beauty of her hazel eyes- so bright, so shimmering, it looked like they were on fire. **_

_**Her blonde gentle curls fell over her shoulders like liquid gold, surrounding her perfectly shaped face like a piece of art.**_

_**She looked like an angel.**_

_**She didn`t know, why she was here.**_

_**She didn`t know, that I called her.**_

_**I pulled at her heart. I whispered to it.**_

_**She had no clue.**_

_**I had follwed her through the streets to make sure, she would arrive save. And to comfort her- even if she didn`t know that I did.**_

_**Now I was standing here, hiding behind the trees, not dare to move or even... breathe.**_

_**I was doing this to her, every year on this particular day.**_

_**I didn`t even know why.**_

_**I wanted to see her. Make sure, she`s okay... was she?**_

_**She was a loner. Like me.**_

_**But how would she have turned out to be, if it didn`t happend?**_

_**What if I hadn`t been there that night?**_

_**What if I had noticed her and changed my mind?**_

_**I changed her path. She could have lived a normal life... if only...**_

_**Oh look at her... she`s so precious...**_

_**I made a few steps- cautiously.**_

_**A branch cracked underneath my feet.**_

_**I held my breath.**_

A crack. Maura jumped a little by the sound in the darkness and she turned around searching the darkness between the trees.

"Hello?", she called into the emptiness.

Nothing.

Well, what had she expected?

A serial killer, who would step out of the trees, saying "Oh hi, I`m sorry, I scared you, I`m just waiting here in the dark, so I can kill you later.".

She shook her head by the thought and convinced herself, that it must had been some squirrels or rabbits playing around.

She sat back and her thoughts went traveling...

Why was it, that people seem to look back on their life's on their birthdays to ask themselves if they were happy? Satisfied? Successful enough?

She found it ridiculous. She could do that on any other day- why on her birthday?

But was she... happy?

No. Not at all. Definitely. No.

Well, that was sad... but not news.

Satisfied?

With what? Her Job?

Yes. She loved it. She knew, being a medical examiner was a nightmare for most people, but for her, it was heaven. So YES.

With her private life?

No. She had none. She had Bass. Okay. What else?

Nothing. A big empty house without no soul or life in it. It was just rooms with furniture, a kitchen she never used, a couch she never sat in, a TV she never turned on.

Usually she came home from work, ordered some food, got into the shower and then hopped into bed with her books. That was it. So NO.

With love?

What`s that? No.

She often wondered, if she would ever be able to love someone... to even recognize the feeling, cause she never learned how it felt from her parents.

Her mother who was always absent, traveling or working, distant and cool... but never- a mother.

Her father, nobody ever dared to talk about. She gave up trying as a little girl. Everyone got wide eyed and whispering, but no one would say a single word.

Maura started to fantasize a perfect daddy, loving and caring, tall and handsome... she imagined, her mother had taken her away from him and he was still trying to find her.

She knew, it wasn`t true, but this little silly spark of hope sometimes still sparkled in her chest.

She had no one.

She never made friends. They thought, she was boring. A nerd. A geek. Which was true, but still... it did hurt.

A tear fell from her eye, running down her bare knee. She shivered.

_**Was she crying?!**_

_**I tried to focus on her face, which grimaced a little and... yes. She cried.**_

_**My heart sank to my toes. It... hurt?!**_

_**I closed my eyes.**_

_**Maura... it`s okay. I am here. Don`t cry. You`re not alone..**_

Something happened. Inside of her. It felt like a warm embrace... like a hug- inside.

She pressed a hand to her heart to hold on to this feeling.

It felt like a glowing, a gentle burn in her chest.

She exhaled heavily and her sobbing subsided.

Her heartbeat sped up somehow and Maura wondered, if this was going to be some kind of a panic attack or something?

But she felt calm at the same time... and excited, too.

It felt strange. She was confused...

_**If only I could get a little closer, to see if she still got those freckles, she had when I found her back then.**_

_**If only I could look her in the eye- just once, just a second...**_

_**Would she remember me?**_

_**No. She couldn`t.**_

_**I took her memories away that night. She couldn`t have lived with it. It would have destroyed her.**_

_**Not to mention, that they would have locked her away and thought that she was insane, if she had tried to tell the truth.**_

_**I will never forgive myself.**_

_**Without noticing, I had approached her, step by step. **_

_**I could smell her.**_

_**It deafened me.**_

_**Sweet but spicy. Delicious.**_

_**All I hear is my cold heart pounding in my ears.**_

_**The moonlight painted shadows on her pale skin. It hypnotized me.**_

_**The leaves rustled underneath my feet.**_

_**I stood still and looked up bewildered.**_

Rustling behind her.

She jerked around, her heart seemed to stop for a beat...

A woman. Right behind her back.

She was tall with very long bones, thin and her skin was almost white against the moonlight. It looked like porcelain.

Her thick black hair framed her sharp features in wild curls that almost reached her waist.

She was wrapped up in a long black leather coat and heavy black boots and Maura wondered, why she would dress like that on a hot summer night like this.

Her eyes were... remarkable.

The look in her black eyes was wicked. Like a trapped animal- wild and scared and... helpless?

She didn`t move nor say anything. It looked like, she held her breath.

So did Maura.

Her heart seemed to jump out of her chest.

Who was that woman and what the hell did she want from her?

Attack her? Steal from her? Was she a junky?

Maura knew, she should be afraid- but she wasn`t.

The look on the strangers face wasn`t threatening, she seemed so... fragile- despite her height and her worn out exterior.

There was something about her, that seemed so... familiar.

Did she knew her?

She cleared her throat.

"Who... who are you? What do you want from me?"

_**Her voice. Honey. Angel.**_

_**Her eyes. On me. On my face. My eyes.**_

_**She read me, searched me.**_

_**It hurt.**_

_**I had to go.**_

_**Damn, she should`ve never seen me at all.**_

The woman's eyes were desperate.

She slowly took a step back, then quickly turned on her feet and sped up to leave.

"Hey! Wait!"

Maura stood and ran after her.

She didn`t even knew why.

Was she insane?! Running after a complete creepy stranger who had sneaked up behind her in the darkness? REALLY?!

But something deep inside her tucked at her heart.

"Can I help you?! WAIT!"

But she was gone. She had disappeared between the black trees.

Maura caught her breath. Looking right. Looking left. Turning around.

She was alone.

How could she be gone? So fast?!

Was she hiding somewhere?

"Come back!", Maura whispered, her hand still pressed to her heart.

No sound. Just the crickets. And an old owl was calling into the night.

Maura shivered.

She wrapped her arms around herself and headed home as fast as she could.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

She shut the door behind her and closed her eyes.

She trembled.

Bass blinked lazily at her, still munching on a piece of his salad.

Maura ran a hand through her windblown hair and tried to collect her thoughts. And feelings.

She didn`t even knew why this confrontation with a stranger confused her so much.

Maybe she had just mistaken her for somebody else?

Maybe she was stoned or drunk or high and she hadn`t even realized what she was doing?

Why did it startle her so much?

And then the words shot through her brain- _Cause I had waited for someone and SHE came_.

It was absurd. She didn`t even knew her... or did she?

There was something about her that reminded her of something, so far away as out of a dream.

And her eyes- the look in her eyes was so... full of pain.

Like she wanted to say something, but she- couldn`t.

Was she just pretending? Was she going insane out of loneliness? Was this a midlife crises?

Maura slid down on the wall and sat down on the cool floor of her hallway.

She tried to calm her breath and think straight.

It was her birthday. She was alone. She missed SOMEONE. It was already night and a stranger scared the hell out of her.

It was okay to be confused, wasn`t it?

_**I watched down on her, as she came running through the trees.**_

_**She`s breathing heavily, turning around, searching- for me.**_

_**The owl I had awoken as I had jumped up the tree was yelling at me angrily.**_

_**I wished, I could have just jump down and talk to her. **_

_**Tell her everything- about that night, who I was, how I never left her, even though, she didn`t even remember what had happened at all.**_

_**I would apologize and beg for mercy.**_

_**If only I could...**_

_**But what would it do to her?**_

_**She would probably hate me, try to kill me... or think, she was going insane.**_

_**There was nothing I could do... but be near her.**_

Maura had gone to bed, after she had a glass of red wine to calm her nerves a little.

She sank into weird and dark dreams immediately.

_Blood._

_Running over the floor. All over the place._

_The scream had died down. Now there was silence._

_She could hear her own heartbeat__._

_She was hiding. It was dark where she was._

_It smelled like fuel and grease and... metal._

_She peaked out through a little gap._

_A dark shadow coming round the corner- where the blood came from._

_The figure stopped, slowly... scanning the room..._

_Her heart was hammering in her chest, but she couldn`t look away._

_A blink of her eyes and the shadow was right in front of her._

_She hadn`t seen it move- it was just there._

_She whimpered._

_The shadow bended down._

_Light. Stinging her eyes._

_She had been lifted._

_She refused to open her eyes._

_"Shhhh, Baby girl... you`re all right. Don`t you cry, I`m gonna make it alright. I promise."_

_The voice was deep and gravely but also soft and gentle. Raspy._

_It was more of a whisper right beside her ear._

_It sounded so nice._

_She had opened her eyes._

_Her face was buried in dark curls._

_It smelled like lavender and wild grass__._

_Lips on her forehead. Warm and gentle._

_A flash of a smile._

_And those black eyes._

She woke up, staring in the darkness, her heart hammering against her chest.

Her breath was heavy and shaking.

Those eyes!

Maura sat up and switched her night light on. Looking across the room, as to reassure herself, that she was alone.

It was her. That woman. She was sure.

Why did she dream of her?!

It felt so weird, so... real.

Like a long forgotten memory.

This was ridiculous. She had been a child in her dream... three, maybe four years old.

It couldn`t be, but what the hell?!

In the morning, she felt like run over by a truck.

She couldn`t manage to get back to sleep after her nightmare and so she felt like a sleepwalker, when she arrived at her office.

"Dr. Isles. We have another one. It`s Clark Morrison. Can you believe it?!

We`re after him for almost two years now and this damn Phantom just comes along and kills him."

Korsak was frustrated, Maura could tell.

It all started almost one year ago.

They were searching for a serial rapist, who had raped seven women in nine month already and strangled them afterwards.

The homicide unit just couldn`t find a trace.

This guy was so good. No evidence left- nothing. Nobody ever saw or heard anything. He was invisible.

Then one day a man was found dead in an alley. His throat was sliced open and he had bled out.

As they entered his apartment later, they found pictures of all rape victims after their deaths, plus pictures of the women alive.

Someone had murdered the serial killer, they just couldn`t manage to catch.

They thought, it was coincidence at first, but a few weeks later, another most wanted criminal of Boston had been killed. Throat sliced open.

The news started to report about it and after the third case, Boston's citizens celebrated this "phantom" as some kind of hero.

He came out of nowhere and killed the people, that the police just couldn`t seem to find.

He made them look like idiots.

"The press goes crazy and so are the people. Turn on the TV, it`s everywhere! Who is this bastard?! Some fucking genius?! Superman?!"

Korsak sighed, burying his face in his hands.

"I`ll go and take a look.", Maura said and headed for the door.

"Ah, Dr. Isles!", Detective Frost called out relieved and waved her over.

Maura struggled to make her way through the press and the crowd of people, trying to take a look at the corpse.

It looked like all the other crime scenes.

The man was laying on his back, throat cut open, his eyes wide.

Maura knelt down next to him, shaking her head in thought.

"What is it, Dr. Isles?", Frost had asked curiously. "You found anything?".

Maura pondered. It made no sense. Again.

"Same as the previous cases- it`s less blood than there ought to be... I just don`t get it..."

Frost shook his head as well.

"But how can that possibly be? Do you think, he catches some of the blood and takes it with him? As some kind of trophy or something?"

Maura was at a loss, her brain blank.

She had been thinking about this, when she first noticed it, at the first crime scene.

She couldn`t find a clou.

It could be a trophy, actually, but that would be very unusual. And difficult to manage either.

No, it made zero sense.

But at least three litres of blood were missing. Maybe more.

Anyway. They knew, this was Clark Morrison and Frost had found no evidence at the crime scene, as usual.

Maura would run the ordinary test in the morgue, but she was sure, she wouldn`t find anything.

She stood and ran her fingers through her hair.

Her eyes travelled through the crowd. A lot of people were taking pictures with their mobile phones. It made her sick to her stomach.

Suddenly her heart seemed to stop for a beat and then jumped to her throat, as she spotted a silhouette, that was just walking around a corner and disappeared.

It had been less than two seconds, but the picture was now branded in her brain.

Tall, skinny, long dark curls and coat and this special way to walk.

That was her! It had to be!

Her heart was racing like a drum and she broke into sweat.

"Dr. Isles, you okay?", Frosts voice, far away.

She felt like running after her, but she knew, she had no chance, as it would take her minutes to get through the crowd.

And even if she did- what then? What did she want? What would she say anyway?

Then with every second passing by, she started to wonder more and more, if she was just pretending.

Couldn`t it have been any other slim woman with long dark hair and a coat? Maybe she just reminded her...?

"Dr. Isles?", Frost again, now louder.

Maura tried to focus.

"Yes... I`m... I just... thought I saw someone.", she stammered and waved the question away.

Frost looked a little confused, but decided to just drop the subject and go on with the case.

_**I knew she would be there. Of course.**_

_**But seeing her today was a punch in the stomach, more than usual.**_

_**Now, that she had faced me. Noticed me. Locked eyes with me.**_

_**It felt like- something had started... but it just shouldn`t be.**_

_**I had crossed a line already and I knew, I had to stop and leave her alone... but I just... couldn`t.**_

_**Seeing her made me feel so- alive. **_

_**I almost forgot how this felt.**_

_**It felt intoxicating and I was afraid, I was already addicted.**_

_**I could tell from her face, that she had noticed something, that wouldn`t fit in their puzzle. She shook her head.**_

_**The people around me were ecstatic- "The phantom did it again! He`s a hero!". Oh well...**_

_**She stood up.**_

_**I had to go... now, that she has seen me, you never know...**_

It had been one hell of a day.

Mauras feet and head ached terribly.

Korsak had been furious, cause the press gave him such a hard time.

They accused him and the unit as lazy asses, who needed other people to do their job.

She felt sorry for him, cause she knew, it was not his fault. He was a great cop.

But this "phantom" was always a few steps ahead. It was spooky.

Sometimes Maura just wished, she had anyone to talk to. Well, besides Bass...

She turned on the water of her hot tub and started undressing herself.

A shiver ran down her spine. She turned around.

The window was still open and she stepped over to shut it close.

It was dark outside and before she closed the curtains, she looked across the street, which was almost empty in the light of the streetlamps.

She gazed up into the black sky.

She could hardly spot a few stars through the light pollution of Boston.

A sting in her heart.

This strange feeling of missing someone was back.

Maura wondered, if she was suffering some kind of depression or something...

Did it feel like that? How could she know?

But she felt weird.

It hurt and she was sad, but at the same time, she felt... happy?

It made no sense.

She took a last look out in the dark.

She just couldn`t help but feeling... watched?

But there was nobody there.

With a shake of her head, she closed the curtains and slid into the tub.

The hot water washed away some of the tension, that had built up in her neck over the past days.

She let out a satisfied sigh and tried to think of nothing.

_**I shouldn`t have been there.**_

_**I felt like some creepy stalker.**_

_**But I didn`t wanted to do any harm. I didn`t WATCH her, I just wanted to... SEE her.**_

_**I was sitting there for about two hours, staring at her window, where she had closed the curtains about half an hour ago.**_

_**The light was still on, so I could tell, she was still in there.**_

_**Knowing she was there, was enough.**_

_**I felt less alone, just being near her.**_

_**I knew, she could feel me, my presence.**_

_**I could tell by the way, she looked out of her window- searching.**_

_**For a second there I thought, she would see me, but I was hidden well in the dark, behind the chimney.**_

_**A shadow. She was out of the tub.**_

_**I could watch her move. Drying her hair. Brush her teeth. Get dressed.**_

_**Light out.**_

_**Light on in her bedroom.**_

_**Curtain was already closed. Damn it.**_

_**What would I have given for one last look of her face tonight...**_

_**Lights out. Darkness.**_

_**I let myself sink down on the roof, gazing across the town. The thousands of city lights.**_

_**Thousands of people, watching TV, curled up on the couch with their loved ones, reading books or going out for a drink.**_

_**They all had a life. They all had- someone.**_

_**But not me. And not Maura.**_

_**I imagined her, lying in the dark, snuggled up in her blanket, her blonde hair spread out on the pillow... precious Maura.**_

_**We were alone- together.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_So, thank you so much to all of those who took the time to give this story a try I hope you like Chapter three- the first confrontation of Jane and Maura… I`d love you to write a little review, if you have time. Thanks and enjoy the read _

_**Chapter 3.**_

It was a surprise. Frost had found a tiny fragment of skin under the victims fingernail.

That was the first trace at all since the beginning of the murders.

Frost had searched the data base for matches- but found nothing.

The spark of hope had died in the dark.

But what they had found out was, that this DNA belonged to a woman.

"Probably a girlfriend- Korsak is checking on it... maybe they had been together, right before he got killed. Maybe she had seen or heard anything... Or..."

Frost pondered.

"Or- what?", Maura asked curiously.

"Or the killer is a lady.", Frost shrugged.

Mauras eyes got wide. "You really think so? It takes great force, to slice someones throat open like that... It`s so... violent. You really think, a woman could have done this? So many times?", she asked at a loss.

Frost couldn`t help but smile at Mauras expression.

" Possible. I mean, without the DNA, I wouldn`t have guessed it either, but now... There are strong and violent women out there and under the right circumstances, they might also turn into serial killers just like men do. Right?", Frost asked.

Maura nodded in thought.

It was hard for her to imagine a woman running through the dark night with a sharp knife, hunting Bostons most dangerous criminals down and just cut them open. Leaving them there, bleeding...

That was something men did. Usually.

She shivered.

But at the same time, she had to admit to herself, that the thought was kind of cool- a woman who was now some kind of a hero, cause she caught the villains, that the police didn`t manage to catch in month or even years...

She pushed the thought away. Murder was never a solution.

When she got home late as usual, she still didn`t felt tired enough to go to bed.

Her mind was spinning.

She decided to take a little walk outside, to calm herself and clear her brain.

She didn`t even noticed, she was walking straight towards the park again and stopped only just by the bench at the lake, where she had sat in the night of her birthday.

Well, it was a beautiful and peaceful place to be, when you wanted to be alone and thinking.

The stars were much more visible than under the pale lights of the city. The noises were magical, like a special music of the night- crickets, frogs, owls, sometimes a nightingale.

She sat down on the bench and let her mind wander.

Her eyes watched the giant trees moving slowly in the summer breeze, it was kind of hypnotizing.

She looked down on the lake and then- she narrowed her eyes to make sure, it wasn`t just a tree stub down by the lake.

Her heartbeat sped up violently.

There was a dark figure sitting by the waterfront.

Obviously, the person hadn`t noticed, that she had been approaching her. The frogs and the crickets were just too loud to hear her soft footsteps on the grass.

She didn`t dare to move for a second. She held her breath.

Long dark curls fell down the persons back.

It was her. It had to be.

Same place, same time.

Maura didn`t know either to be happy or scared.

For some reason, she had hoped to see her again. To talk to her. She didn`t even knew why.

But what should she say? What if this woman was dangerous? Or just wanted to be left alone- why else would she be here?

Maura hesitantly stood up and walked some very quiet steps towards the woman in black.

She stopped not too close by, cause how could she know, how this stranger would react. She didn't` wanted to scare her, either.

She cleared her throat.

"Uhm... excuse me?", Maura said nervously and tried to calm herself, cause she felt like her knees would just get weak.

The Woman straightened up, but she didn`t turn around nor said anything.

"I... I don`t wanna interrupt anything, so... if you want to be left alone, please just tell me...", she stammered.

Silence.

Maura didn`t know what to do.

She stared at the slim silhouette in the dark, as a very deep raspy voice finally said, "Yes, please.".

That voice! She knew it!

It was just like the voice from her dream- how could it be?! How could she knew her?

"I`m sorry, I just wondered... do I... do we possibly know each other?" Maura went on.

She just couldn`t leave her there- she had to know!

The woman turned around and faced her in the dark.

Black sparkling eyes burned through her flesh. Maura gasped.

For a second, the woman just looked at her. Searching her face. Her jaw was clenched.

Then she shook her head. "No.", she said shortly and turned to leave.

Maura sped up to go after her.

"But wait! Excuse me, Miss, but I really think, I know you and I just wonder...", Maura babbled.

The woman just kept walking.

"Please... I have to go.", the gravelly voice said quietly, without looking up.

She didn`t know, what drove her, but Maura just refused to let her go.

The feeling, that she knew this woman was so intense now, she just had to find out, who she was.

Without thinking, she grabbed the womans arm and went on, "I understand, but please, would you just...", but the woman swirled around.

Her face was inches away from her own. She was breathing hard and it almost looked like, she was shivering.

Maura could see emotions flicker over her face, like she was battling with herself.

Then suddenly her eyes softened, "I can`t. Maura... I can`t.".

With that, she turned around and left with quick long steps.

Mauras hand had dropped, so did her mouth.

MAURA. She had said her name.

She knew her!

The world seemed to be spinning underneath her feet.

She felt sick. And hot. And cold. She was shaking hard.

She stared at the place, where the stranger had disappeared between the trees.

She couldn`t move.

She was falling to pieces.

_**It was hard for me, to stay away from her.**_

_**It was even harder since I knew, she had seen me. That she felt me. Thought about me.**_

_**She knew I existed- that was enough to turn my world upside down.**_

_**It was like, this life finally had a meaning.**_

_**And it scared me, cause I knew, this was all so terribly wrong.**_

_**I had to force myself away from her. Leave her in peace and distract myself with something else.**_

_**But what the hell should that be?!**_

_**How could I not think about her. Miss her.**_

_**Now I was sitting in the dark, by the lake, surrounded by bats- how appropriate.**_

_**Lost in the memories of her face. The look in her eyes.**_

_"Uhm... Excuse me?"_

_**It hit me on the head. That voice. HER voice.**_

_**I sat up straight, my thoughts spinning. **_

_**What should I do?! **_

_**Panic shot through my veins like icy water.**_

_**I couldn`t just run away or jump up a tree- that would be suspicious, wouldn`t it?!**_

_**I couldn`t breathe.**_

_"I... I don`t wanna interrupt anything, so... if you want to be alone, please just tell me..."._

_**No. Please, don`t go. Don`t ever leave me again.**_

_"Yes, please.", __**I heard myself say and it felt like choking.**_

_**Oh dear heavens, please just leave me alone.**_

_"I`m sorry, I just wondered... do I... do we possibly know each other?" _

_**Damn, why couldn`t she just let me be?!**_

_**But she couldn`t and I knew it.**_

_**She felt the connection.**_

_**It was so strong, it hurt.**_

_**I had to be stronger.**_

_**I managed to stand up and forced myself not to look at her. **_

_**I failed.**_

_**My eyes found hers. Locked.**_

_**It felt like everything just shifted into place.**_

_**She made me feel... so alive.**_

_**It was like electricity running through my veins.**_

_**I had to get out of here.**_

_"No.", __**I answered firmly and headed towards the trees.**_

_**She didn`t let go.**_

_"But wait! Excuse me, Miss, but I really think, I know you and I just wonder..."._

_**She was making it so hard for me to resist.**_

_"Please... I have to go.", __**I managed to get out, trying to walk faster.**_

_**Then suddenly, her hand on my arm, holding me back.**_

_**Her touch burned on my skin, even through the fabric of my thick leather coat.**_

_"I understand, but please, would you just..."._

_**Gosh, woman...!**_

_**I turned around quickly.**_

_**She jumped a little.**_

_**Her face was so close to mine now, that the sweetness of her scent almost made me pass out.**_

_**I had to focus so very hard, not just to lean in to her neck and...**_

_**But the desperation in her eyes interrupted my thoughts.**_

_"I can`t. Maura... I can`t."._

_**It just slipped out. **_

_**My heart stopped for a beat.**_

_**What had I done?!**_

_**I started walking, without looking back. Faster and faster.**_

_**When I was sure to be out of sight, I sped up a tree and just started to jump as fast as I could.**_

_**From tree top to tree top... as to leave myself behind.**_

_**It didn`t work.**_

_**It had begun.**_

She jerked up in the dark.

Her body was covered in sweat and her heart hammered against her chest.

She switched the light on, as fast as she could.

The mild glow of her nightlight calmed her nerves a little.

She was save. She was alone.

Bass was moving in the kitchen- a familiar noise, that made her feel at home.

She tried to steady her breath. She was alright.

Slowly, she sank back into her pillow and stared to the ceiling.

The dream was coming back to her.

The smell of fuel and grease and metal. And blood.

The black eyed woman, lifting her up, comforting her.

The smell of lavender, her heavenly smile, that made her feel so save.

"Please, don`t go away! Take me with you!" her little four year old self begged.

The woman stroke her hair, smiling sadly at her.

"I can`t. Maura... I can`t.".


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey y`all- yaaay, you`re still reading :D Okay, this is gonna be the chapter, where the truth is told and you`re gonna understand what this is all about. I hope, you won`t be disappointed or stop reading without giving this topic a chance… So, if you like it, please review and I keep my fingers cross, that you will continue reading ;)**_

_**Chapter 4.**_

_**I came home quite close to dawn.**_

_**The last time, I had eaten more than a snack to survive, was almost two days ago, but I was too tired and exhausted to go and find me something.**_

_**My precious little house was just at the edge of Forest Hill Cemetery, so it was quite peaceful and not as busy as it was in the middle of the city.**_

_**It had been quite easy to get to buy the house, cause there were not many people, who wanted to live that close to a cemetery**__**.**_

_**I found it by far more scary, to live among other people.**_

_**I lay myself down on my huge dark wooden bed and wrapped the snuggly black blanket tight around me.**_

_**How I wished, I could just switch off my brain for a few hours of peace.**_

_**But the memories were coming back to me. Pictures. Noises. Even the smell...**_

_**It was more than 32 years ago.**_

_**I was a detective in Boston. The only female back then and I had fought hard to live up to my male colleagues**__**.**_

_**It took me some time, but finally I had made myself a reputation. I was good. One of the best.**_

_**Bostons criminals hated me. I was proud. And stupid.**_

_**We were after one of Bostons most wanted- an irish mob hit man named Patrick Doyle.**_

_**He had killed many men- whenever one was standing is his way, he took care of him- and he was connected to all kinds of crime imaginable in Boston.**_

_**One day, I nailed him.**_

_**It was coincidence, that we were on the right place, at the right time.**_

_**My partner, a youngster that followed me like a little puppy, and I were coming around the building from different directions and I was the one, who spotted Paddy first.**_

_**I wanted so much to be the hero in this game and I just wanted to try to get him on my own.**_

_**I was observing him, while he gave instructions to some of his employees as one of the men came up to him and whispered something into his ear.**_

_**Paddy nodded and disappeared out of my sight. **_

_**I waited for him to come back, cause they weren`t done with their business yet and I couldn`t get out from where I hid anyway.**_

_**Then I heard a click.**_

_**A gun was pointed at the back of my head.**_

_**"Bad idea, Rizzoli.", he growled and then he laughed gravely.**_

_**I didn`t move.**_

_**He came around to face me, an evil grin on his face.**_

_**I was furious inside.**_

_**Without thinking I tried to grab the gun that was pointed at me.**_

_**I pulled down his hand**__**.**_

_**He shot. Straight into my heart.**_

_**The last thing I saw, was his face. Smiling...**_

_**I woke up with a terribly headache.**_

_**Everything was a blur**__**.**_

_**A man was kneeling over me, looking down on me eagerly**__**.**_

_**I`ll never forget those eyes. They looked like fire.**_

_**A brown- yellow sparkle...**_

_**His skin was white and smooth and his hair was long and golden.**_

_**I tried to move, when the memory hit me like a hammer.**_

_**He shot me! Where was I?! **_

_**It didn`t hurt. Was I dying?**_

_**Was I- dead?!**_

_**My hand searched my chest. Blood.**_

_"Well, there you are!"__** the voice said, rolling deep like thunder.**_

_**It sounded friendly, almost joyful, though.**_

_"The pain will ease. Give it a few minutes and you`ll be good as new.", __**he said, as he hold my hand in his.**_

_**I slowly looked around.**_

_**I wasn`t in a hospital. I lay on the cold ground. Seagulls were circling over me. **_

_**Was this the harbour?**_

_**Paddy shot me just by the harbour.**_

_**Where was the ambulance? And where the hell was my partner?**_

_"So many questions..." __**the man said quietly. **__"I see..."._

_**WHAT?! Who the hell was this guy?!**_

_"My name is Romanus. You got shot. I found you just by the garbage. They had thrown you away as they heard the police coming._

_But I found you, before they arrived and I thought it was a shame to throw something so young and so beautiful away like a piece of dirt._

_I took you with me, until they were gone and I decided to bring you back..."_

_**My head was spinning. Why would he hide me? From the police, the ambulance? Was he insane? Would he let me die here?**_

_"Oh no, my dear, you don`t understand... He killed you... you had just died seconds before I found you. But I decided, that you deserved to live._

_I hope you don`t mind, that I couldn`t ask you for permission, but I made you what I like to call "a daughter of the night". Don't worry. You won`t die anymore- ever..."._

_**He WAS insane. I started to panic. What would he do to me?!**_

_**He laughed and pulled me to sit up.**_

_" No, no, just look at your wound, dear...", __**he said amused and pointed at my chest.**_

_**I looked down on my shirt, which was red from blood over and over.**_

_**Oh gosh, I was dying! Why didn`t it hurt at all? Was it a shock?**_

_**My trembling hand slit under the shirt, searching for the wound. I couldn`t find it.**_

_**I used my other hand as well. Nothing. **_

_**I looked down my cleavage- no wound.**_

_**I felt dizzy.**_

_"I know, I know... it`s confusing right now. But I`ll tell you everything you need to know."_

_**"WHO ARE YOU?! What the hell have you done to me?!" I half shouted trembling, but my voice was hoarse.**_

_"Now, now... no need to yell at me, my dear- you don`t want them to find you, don`t you?"__** he asked softly and his smile seemed indeed a little insane due to this situation.**_

_"Just a little more patience, my precious- it will take you some time, to understand what is not understandable. Did you never hear the stories of the undead? The children of the night...? Vampires?" __**he asked, while he was trying to tame the wild curls of my hair. **_

_**I stared at him unbelieving, not even knowing what to say. I shook my head and backed up a little.**_

_"Oh I know, it sounds crazy, doesn`t it? But these are all true stories. Old but true. Well, not the details, of course... Not the flying and transforming into bats. Not the crucifix and the garlic... But anyways, we´re dead, yet we´re alive. We feed on blood and we prefer the dark. Just look around- you`ll notice some changes right about now, don`t you?"__**, he pulled me to my feet.**_

_**I stared at him, like he was insane- well, he had to be.**_

_**Where the hell was everyone? They had to search for me, right?**_

_"You will be hungry soon. You drank a bit of my blood- it will keep you on your toes for quite a bit, but not too long. So, as you don`t know anything about the hunt, I guess, I`m gonna grab us some dinner and I`ll tell you what you need to know- how about that?"__**, he asked bemused.**_

_**"I drank your- WHAT?!", I yelled. And he laughed.**_

_"There."__**, he pointed at the side of my mouth,**__ "You spilled a little bit..."__**.**_

_**I licked over my mouth and I tasted the dried droplets of something that tasted like iron. I wiped it from my mouth and stared at the back of my hand. **_

_**Holy crap- was this some kind of a fucking nightmare?!**_

_**I spit on the ground.**_

_**"Okay, you freak, thanks for saving me from Doyle, but YOU are totally INSANE, okay?! Don`t you dare to touch me, don`t you dare to follow me- I will go home now and you will go, wherever you came from, you hear me?!", I barked.**_

_**He laughed a little and took a step in my direction.**_

_**I grabbed my holster, but my gun was gone, so I remembered dads army knife, I always carried in my pocket and I pulled it out, pointing on him.**_

_**"STOP. RIGHT. THERE. Or I swear, you will regret it", I growled**__**.**_

_**He hold up his hands and took a step back. Still grinning.**_

_"You will regret THIS very soon, my dear. You have no idea how to survive in this world. But it is your choice. I gave you life, do what you want with it..."__**, he said smiling and then he was gone. I mean, literally- he was gone. I didn`t saw him going. He stood there, I blinked- and he was gone.**_

_**I began to wonder if I had suffered a bad head injury or something. This all couldn`t be true.**_

_**For two years I hadn`t seen or heard from Doyle.**_

_**I was away, learning how to live my new life. **_

_**Learning to live in a new world, with new noises, new smells, a different view, new skills and powers I knew nothing about.**_

_**Mourning my life as it had been before.**_

_**Hating everyone and everything. Including myself.**_

_**Being so angry it almost ripped me apart.**_

_**Lonely, confused and afraid.**_

_**I couldn`t handle myself.**_

_**But then one day, I decided, if I had another chance, to end what I once started, then I should do it and if it was the last thing, I would do.**_

_**And so I did.**_

_**It didn`t took very long to figure out where to find him.**_

_**I could see him move inside the garage through the small windows under the ceiling.**_

_**I approached him quickly and soundless. I was right behind him.**_

_"Where the heck are you?!"__** I heard him searching for something and then he turned around.**_

_"Well surprise!"__**, I said with a devilish grin and his eyes seemed to pop out of his head.**_

_**He went pale like he had seen a ghost. Well, that was me.**_

_"That`s... not... how... you´re...",__** he stammered.**_

_**My hand grabbed his throat and I threw him up against the wall.**_

_**He crashed into a tool board and slammed to the ground.**_

_" I always end what I started."__**, I whispered gravely and then I slowly knelt down beside him.**_

_**His scream hurt my ears. But a heavenly silence followed.**_

_**After I was finished with him, I just wanted to leave him there and go home. And celebrate. Alone.**_

_**But suddenly I heard a quiet little noise... like... a shaky breath?**_

_**I jerked around. Was anyone here?**_

_**I concentrated and I heard a tiny heartbeat- so fast like the heart of a captive bird.**_

_**A cat maybe?**_

_**I made a few soft steps to where the noise came from.**_

_**I heard a whimper.**_

_**Oh dear gods, no! Don`t let it be a child. Please, no!**_

_**Where could it be?**_

_**A closet. The doors were moving like they were trembling. Or someone was trembling...**_

_**I held my breath.**_

_**I looked down to Doyles dead body, then to the closet. **_

_**Oh gosh.**_

_**I made a quick move to the closet and I knocked, softly.**_

_**A sob.**_

_**I trembled**__**.**_

_**"**__Anybody in there?". __**Silence. **__"It`s okay, you can come out now. You`re save, honey."__**, I whispered gently.**_

_**Sobbing again, then the closet opened up a little bit.**_

_**I felt my heart pumping against my throat.**_

_**I pulled the door open with one finger and there she was.**_

_**A blonde little angel- her hazel eyes wide with fear and red from crying.**_

_**Her doll face was full of freckles and the way she looked at me just broke my heart.**_

_**I lifted her up to my hips and she wrapped her tiny arms around my neck immediately and with such force, that I gasped for air.**_

_"Shhhh, Baby girl... you`re alright. Don`t you cry, I`m gonna make it alright. I promise."__**, I tried to calm her but I myself was furious inside.**_

_**I didn`t knew he had a daughter- a man like him, I would have never guessed!**_

_**Why was she here- why today?!**_

_**What should I do- I had killed her father in front of her eyes.**_

_**Well, she hadn`t been able to see me out of the closet, so I guessed, she thought, that I came to rescue her, after someone else had murdered her father.**_

_**I had to fix it, no matter what.**_

_**I wanted to take a look at her, to see if she was alright and so I pulled her arms loose a bit.**_

_"Please, don`t go away! Take me with you__**!", she begged and I wished, I could hold her forever.**_

_**I gently sat her to the ground and knelt down in front of her.**_

_"Okay Baby, let me fix it, okay? Let me see, what I can do..."__**, I said and stroke the hair out of her face.**_

_**I rested my hand on her forehead and in my mind, I whispered, "You`ll forget everything you have just seen this evening. You won`t remember anything from the point, you went to the closet. You will think, you fell asleep in there. And now- sleep."**_

_**She fell down in my arms immediately, peacefully asleep and I placed her in the closet again.**_

_**Then I called the police from Doyles phone and told them, that he was dead and a child was sleeping in the closet.**_

_**They were confused, but I didn`t care. They would never find me. I was save. But that little girl...**_

_**What had I done?!**_

_**I had taken the childs father, I had destroyed its family.**_

_**I felt like a monster.**_

_When Maura awoke, she felt numb._

_She was sick in her stomach and for the first time since she had started her job, she considered to stay at home. In bed._

_Her mind was spinning and she was afraid, she wouldn`t do her job justice, when she would try to work in that condition._

_Those eyes. Her voice._

_" ... Maura. I can`t.". It circled in her head again and again._

_Her name. She had said her name._

_It made no sense._

_She would have loved to search the data base for her, but she didn`t even knew her name._

_Was it coincidence, that she had met her so often over the past few days?_

_She needed to talk to her. Find out, what all this was about._

_Find out why she felt like this woman held the key to her sadness- and maybe even her happiness._

_But how? How should she find her?_

_The park was the only trace she had._

_So she rang in sick and tried to get things sorted._

_She managed to take a long bath, to clear her mind and ordered some lunch. She knew, she had to eat, even though she wasn`t hungry at all._

_When she was done, it was almost afternoon and so she headed out for the park._

_She wasn`t quite sure, if it made any sense, cause by day, the park was busy and noisy, but she just had to do something. Anything._

_On the bench by the lake, a young couple was busy kissing and giggling, so Maura just walked around- just to be there._

_Families were picnicking, dogs were chasing around, kids were playing soccer and cute old couples were walking hand in hand._

_Watching all these people, Maura felt more alone than ever before. Everyone here seemed so happy. She felt cold. Dead._

_Regarding why she came here, again and again the thought occurred to her, that she might lose her mind._

_Wandering around, the sky slowly turned red. Then purple. _

_One after the other, the people headed home. It went quiet._

_The birds sang beautifully into the dusk and the crickets welcomed the night with their song.._

_Maura sat on the bench, motionless, her eyes resting tiredly on the lake. Waiting._

_This was insane. She wouldn`t be here every night, would she?_

_But something kept Maura from going home._

_There was no reason to go home anyway. If she went, she would want to go back to the park sooner or later…_

_When she was sure, she was totally alone in the dark, she whispered, "What am I doing here? Tell me... I`m sure, you know it, right? You know ME..."._

_She shivered. Her breath was trembling. _

_Tears were burning in her eyes, but she refused to cry._

_She stood and turned around._

_Black trees swaying in the wind peacefully._

_She slowly walked towards the lake to the place, where the woman had knelt the day before._

_She obeyed the place as if she hoped to find something, but of course, there was nothing there._

_No footprints... just a dead rabbit, which looked like it was bitten to death by a dog._

_Maura closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were fighting its way up._

_"Come back. Please. I don`t know who you are, but for some reason, I just need to talk to you. Can`t you see? I need you! Please...", she sobbed and the tears fell from her eyes silently._

_She didn`t noticed it at first, but something had changed. The birds were silent now. So were the frogs. _

_Only the crickets played their tune and the bats had begun the haunting._

_Maura couldn`t help but whimper. _

_All the pain, all the loneliness was breaking through the surface. All the desperation came to show. Here in the dark._

_Suddenly she felt it. A heat from behind._

_Her heartbeat sped up painfully against her chest._

_She was scared to death, and yet... excited._

_It was almost like she could hear- or feel- somebody breathing._

_It could have been a murderer. A rapist. A junky on turkey, who wanted to rob her._

_But she didn`t dare to turn around._

_If it was HER, she didn`t wanted to scare her away no more. She needed to talk to her._

_She couldn`t help from shaking heavily and the sobbing increased._

_Her head was empty. The only thing flowing through her mind was one desperate word._

_"Please...!", she said and her voice was nothing but a shaky whisper._

_A glow in her chest. Warm and bright and sparkling._

_Hot breath stroke her neck._

_Maura wrapped her arms around herself tightly, trying to stop herself from falling._

_Her knees grew weak and she whimpered like a child._

_Two strong arms slung around her waist from behind, gripping her firmly. _

_Her brain went blank. Her heart stood still. The earth moved beneath her feet. Pieces fell into place._

_Hot breath on her ear. "Sshhhh... I`m here... I`m here."._

_Then there was darkness._


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey folks, thank you so sooo much fort the lovely reviews lately! *happydance* I am endlessly glad, that you like it! Now, I hope you`ll like the next chapter just as much and if so, please let me know in the reviews… ;) I have to say, that I won`t always update daily, as I haven`t finished the story yet, so I will need a little bit more time- but I will hurry ;) Thanks and enjoy the read! :) _

_**Chapter 5.**_

_**Something was wrong with Maura. I could feel it. Feel her.**_

_**Since the last time we had met, the connection had grown a lot stronger.**_

_**I couldn`t read her mind over the distance, but I could feel and experience her emotions.**_

_**I could force it, if I concentrated hard enough. But sometimes, if it was a very strong emotion, it was kind of out of control... it would sweep over me like a tidal wave and just hit me in the middle of something**__**.**_

_**It was dinner time for me and I was in the woods. I had just had a delicious young deer and for the first time in days, I felt fresh and strong and awake.**_

_**Just in that moment, Mauras sadness hit me in the guts. **_

_**It felt like a cold and dark cloud building up inside of my stomach.**_

_**She was despaired, tired and weak. She tried not to cry and it hurt in her throat. And in mine.**_

_**My heart sank to my knees at the intension of the feeling.**_

_**She was in the park. I could feel the warm breeze, hear the birds and the frogs.**_

_**And then my heart seemed to stop for a beat.**_

_**She spoke to me.**_

_"What am I doing here? Tell me... I`m sure, you know it, right? You know ME...".__**.**_

_**Her words were filled with tears.**_

_**They echoed through my body, through every single vein and every bone. Like an earthquake but inside of me.**_

_**I began to run.**_

_**I sped up the trees and jumped and jumped as fast and as far as I could. I reached the edge of the forest and I ran.**_

_**I knew, no one could see me- I was too fast for their eyes, but for some reason, I was never bold enough to use my skills in the middle of a crowd.**_

_**I preferred the height.**_

_**Whenever there were trees or houses, I would run up there and jump from top to top.**_

_**So I did.**_

_**I guess the 9 miles took me less than a minute.**_

_**And there she was. Standing by the lake, weeping quietly. Calling for me.**_

_**I had no clue, what to do.**_

_**But as her sobbing increased, my brain just switched off.**_

_**A blink of an eye and I was right behind her.**_

_**Her smell was overwhelming and it took me quite some strengths to stay in control. Focus.**_

_**She smelled like paradise. Like everything I loved and wanted and I couldn`t even tell, what that was.**_

_**It was sweet and spicy and rich and heavy... **_

_**It smelled like warmth and comfort and... home.**_

_**I wanted to wrap myself up in her scent and just vanish in this dizziness**__**.**_

_**I had trouble breathing and I clenched my jaw to focus myself on... well, doing nothing. Which was hard.**_

_**She knew, I was there. I could feel her emotions. **_

_**It was overwhelming. Fear. Excitement. Despair. Joy. Sadness. All at once.**_

_**My mind spun round and round.**_

_**My breath was heavy. She could hear it. Feel it.**_

_**I craved to touch her hair. So soft.**_

_**I lifted my hand and when my fingertips brushed a lock of her hair, she whimpered out heart wrenching.**_

_**Without thinking my arms wrapped around her fragile waist and I held her tightly, while I whispered into her ear.**_

_**She held onto my arms desperately, when her knees buckled and she collapsed against me.**_

_**For a moment I stood still. Trying to think straight.**_

_**Then I lifted her up on my arms and I ran.**_

_Her eyes flickered open._

_She blinked. _

_She was laying on her back. Covered with a blanket._

_She blinked again, trying to figure out where she was..._

_Was this...? What the… ?!_

_She sat up abruptly and glanced around._

_She was home. On her couch._

_For a moment, her brain was blank, but then the memories came back. _

_Her heart jumped._

_She had passed out. Now she was home. Alone._

_Was it a dream?! Was she losing her mind?!_

_She buried her face in her hands and tried to calm her breath._

_She had lost her again. She had had the chance to talk to her and she messed it up. Again!_

_"Noooo...! No no no no no!" she cursed quietly to herself._

_**"Uhm... excuse me." **_

_Maura jerked around._

_She would recognize that voice under a million._

_SHE was here. It hadn`t been a dream, but..._

_"OH! You... how... what... what happened?!", Maura stumbled._

_The woman stood in the doorway of her kitchen, uncertain what to do._

_Her fingers fumbled at the sleeve of her wide black shirt._

_The untamed black curls framed her pale and fragile face- it made her look so... wild._

_It was so weird to see someone else inside this usually so dead and empty house. _

_Maura stared at her like she was a ghost._

_**"Well... I came by the lake and saw you standing there...You, uhm... cried. I just wanted to ask... if I could help, but just when I reached you, you passed out into my arms."**_

_Listening to that deep, raspy voice was almost hypnotizing._

_Maura had trouble focusing on what she had actually said._

_"Yes, I... I remember, your arms... you catched me.", Maura said under her breath._

_She couldn`t force her eyes away from this slim, pale figure in her doorway... _

_Black and white, she thought. Black hair, black eyes, black clothes and her skin as white as porcelain._

_"Oh, come in, please... sit with me.", she said quickly. Where had her good manners gone?!_

_"Can I get you something to drink? A red wine, maybe?"_

_**"Uh, no. Thanks. I`m not... thirsty."**_

_She came closer slowly. Uncertain. Scared?_

_She stepped into the light and took a seat next to Maura, flashing a shy smile before she let her eyes explore the room nervously._

_Maura tried to think straight._

_"I`m kind of lost at the moment... How did I get here?", she asked._

_It was quite a long way through the park until someone could reach the streets to get a car or ask for help. Especially at night._

_**"I... had help. Never mind. I just wanted to wait until you wake up and make sure, you`re okay."**_

_Her black eyes blinked at her and Maura thought, that she had never seen wild eyes like this before. So deep. So untamed. So hard to read. So... beautiful._

_**"Are you?"**__, her voice cut into her thoughts__._

_"Uh, sorry, what?", Maura shot back._

_**"Are you? Okay, I mean?",**__ the woman asked quietly._

_Was she?!_

_"I... yes... I guess so."_

_**"Well, that`s good."**__, and she smiled. A bright, heartfelt, honest smile that would`ve knocked Maura off her feet, if she wasn`t seated already._

_The woman stood, still smiling and headed for the door._

_What was she doing?! Was she about to leave?! Seriously?!_

_Maura stood as well. "Wait, where are you going?!"_

_The black woman turned around, looking kind of lost._

_**"It´s late. You`d better go and get some rest, now."**_**, **she answered hesitantly.

_"NO!", Maura shouted out._

_The womans eyes widened in surprise. She didn`t move nor say anything._

_"I mean... I`m sorry, I didn`t meant to yell at you. It`s just..."_

_She ran a hand through her hair._

_"Please stay. I have... questions... I... I don`t even know who you are."_

_The skinny woman took a step closer to Maura_. _**"Jane." **__she said, __**"I`m Jane."**_

_And she smiled a shy smile. _

_Maura let out a relieved laugh and offered her hand. "Nice to meet you, Jane, my name is- "_

_It came back to her. She knew her name._

_"Wait you... you know my name! How do you know my name?! I thought, you were familiar from the start, but I don`t know-", Maura babbled._

_**"School."**__, Jane cut in._

_**"You probably won`t recognize me anymore. I was fat and had pimples and horrible glasses back then."**__, she cracked a wry smile._

_**" I was two years ahead of you."**__, she said and watched Maura closely, while she was speaking._

_"Really? No, I don`t remember... How come, that you knew who I was?", Maura asked curiously and a little excited._

_**"You kidding?! How could anyone NOT know who you were? You won, like, EVERYTHING. You were a genius. Everybody knew that, Maura Isles."**__._

_Maura blushed at the sound of her name from Janes lips. _

_It was weird. She didn`t remember Jane at school and still... there was something about her. It felt like a long lost memory._

_But however, at this very moment, she just wished, she could stay here all night and keep listening to her talking. Just- that voice._

_**"And you... you turned out just fine, didn`t you? I mean, you have a great job, a house so big, I could fit my own in here, like, three times or so..."**__, she glanced around, as if she was seriously pondering._

_"How do you know what I`m doing?" Maura asked irritated._

_**"Your ID. I had to check it, to know where you lived. I hope, that was okay..."**__, Jane said nervously and her eyes narrowed with uncertainty._

_"Oh. Yes, of course!", she answered quickly, before she continued to answer Janes question._

_"I... well, yes, I guess so... I mean, you`re right. I have a fantastic job. I love my job. And the house is... huge.". But it`s empty. It`s dead. I`m lonely. She added in her mind._

_**Suddenly she looked sad. Kind of lost.**_

_**It hurt. Hearing her thoughts was almost too much to bare. I forgot to breathe.**_

_"But...", she sighed, "...it feels like nothing, if there`s no one to share it with, you know? To come home in the evenings and the house is cold and dark and screams from emptiness...", she said quietly, resting her eyes on her hands._

_Jane remained silent, waiting, never taking her eyes off Maura._

_**"I know."**__, Jane said finally._

_Maura looked up to meet black, sparkling eyes, so warm and so intense, she thought, she`d just wanna vanish inside of them. _

_She waited for Jane to continue- but she wasn`t._

_She wasn`t much for words, Maura guessed._

_"You do?", Maura managed to ask and Jane looked at her silently. She seemed to really consider what to say._

_**"I do... I was never one to socialize, you know? I... never got along with most of the people around me. They thought I was a freak and I though the same about them. I got used to being alone. I like it, actually. It`s freedom- well, kind of, you know? But sometimes... there is this feeling, that took me quite a long time, to figure it out- and it`s longing... Longing for someone. Just someone, who would really know me- and like me anyway. Who would bring life into my life, that often feels so dead and so senseless... if you know what I mean."**_

_Maura was surprised by Jane, being so open and honest all of a sudden. They barely even knew each other and she hadn`t spoken much at all._

_She was deeply moved by her words and at the same time, she felt kind of honoured, which she knew was silly, but still._

_And of course she knew what Jane meant. Cause that was exactly how she felt, her whole lonely life._

_It was as if Jane was reading her mind. Speaking her thoughts._

_"Yes. I definitely know what you mean. That`s just how I feel, Jane.", Maura answered honestly and Jane smiled a sad smile, while she reached over to take her hand, squeezing it tightly for a moment._

_It was just a second, but the touch shot through her body like pure electricity. Like lightening. She was shaken._

_Then it was over. Janes hand was gone._

_Suddenly Maura felt cold._

_She tried to suppress the urge to take her hand back and just hold on to it. _

_Jane seemed to be lost in thoughts. Her eyes were focused on her own hands, like she was trying to find some answers in there._

_**"For so many years I just thought, I`m just not one of those, who were meant for happiness, you know? ... But today I think-"**__, Jane looked up and met Mauras curious eyes, __**" ... maybe happiness comes around, when you least expect it."**__._

_She didn`t know why it hit her so straight in the guts, but it felt like she was falling to pieces. _


	6. Chapter 6

_Yaaay, you really get me going with those nice reviews *smiles* Thanks so much for your support! So here is just a sweet little chapter of pure fluff until in the next chapter things start to get interesting ;) Hope you like it!_

_**Chapter 6.**_

_**Well, that had been unexpected. And wrong. And so fracking wonderful.**_

_**I didn`t meant to stay. I just wanted to make sure, she would wake up and be okay.**_

_**But just sittin´ there, watching her sleep- I do admit, I made her sleep a little bit longer... just a few minutes, really- was so soothing...**_

_**Just being there, in her house, surrounded by all her personal things... it made me wanna stay forever.**_

_**That`s what it had to feel like, to have a "home"... where someone was waiting for you.**_

_**Where the rooms came to life, everything was warm and glowing- well, at least that`s how it felt to me.**_

_**I wasn`t sure, if I was prepared to face her... her reaction, her questions.**_

_**I knew, I had to make up a story, for she would want to know, why I knew her name. Stupid me.**_

_**After I had figured something out, I let her wake up slowly. **_

_**I was scared. She scared me. What she did to me. What I became, when she was near me.**_

_**I sat myself down by her side. She wasn`t awake yet.**_

_**I stood up. No. I went to the kitchen.**_

_**Was I allowed to walk around here?**_

_**Just as I wanted to go back in, I heard her whisper. **_

_**Oh jeez...**_

_**I had to say something.**_

_**I messed up. I stumbled like a lovesick teenager. Where does that came from?!**_

_**I trembled. And hoped, she wouldn't notice**__**.**_

_**She didn`t. She was too confused.**_

_**I started to panic- I couldn`t stand to talk to her. I was scared, it would run out of my hand, out of control.**_

_**What if she asked the wrong questions? What, if I hadn`t had the answers?**_

_**So I made sure, she was okay and I wanted to leave.**_

_**Then she yelled at me. Begged me to stay. It was heaven. Hell.**_

_**I wanted to slap myself. Damn damn stupid me.**_

_**I stayed.**_

_**We talked. **_

_**It felt weird.**_

_**I wondered how long it had been, since I had talked to someone like that.**_

_**I couldn`t remember.**_

_**It felt a little like I was out of practise. My tongue was heavy, my throat was tight and my brain was empty.**_

_**I had to focus really hard, to form a sentence that actually made sense.**_

_**And then- she said something and it made her look so sad... and I could feel her sadness and it ripped me apart and then I took her hand. Damn bloody me.**_

_**It was like grabbing a high voltage wire with bare hands.**_

_**What had I done?!**_

_**I released her hand quickly and as soon as I could, I told her, that I really had to leave.**_

_**And then it happened**__**.**_

_**She really asked me, if we could meet again. WHAT?!**_

_**I guess, I couldn`t hide my shock very well, cause she said, **__"Well, if you don`t want to- that`s okay! So feel free to turn me down, I mean... you don`t know me and you`re probably very busy with your own life, so..."__**, she babbled nervously.**_

_**"Okay.", I heard my mouth say.**_

_**EXCUSE ME?! I yelled inside.**_

_**"See you at the lake, tomorrow night?", my mouth kept talking.**_

_"Oh! Yes! Of course! That`d be so nice!" __**she said and was all smiles.**_

_**"Okay then, see you there... and good night, Dr. Isles.", I heard myself say and I winked at her as I left.**_

_**Maybe I was pretending, but I thought she blushed a little.**_

_"I`ll be there."__**, she said smiling and then she closed the door.**_

_**When I reached the sidewalk outside of her house, I thought I would explode. So I began to run.**_

_**I ran home in a few seconds. Being there, I still had enough energy to run to Canada and back. I considered it.**_

_**Then I decided to explore Canada sometime else and I just ran a bit more... round here.**_

_**I entered the city again and without any intention, I found myself on the roof, opposite to Mauras house.**_

_**What the hell was wrong with me?!**_

_**The windows were dark. The curtains were closed. Damn. It hurt.**_

_**But I knew she was there. That was enough.**_

_**I focused. And I listened to her heartbeat until it calmed my own.**_

_The day went by so painfully slowly, that she had trouble imagining how she had spent her days before she had met Jane._

_She was bored at work, as much as she usually loved it, but today she just couldn`t focus on anything but TONIGHT._

_In her mind, she went over the clothes and even the perfume, she would wear, how to do her hair and what she would wanna talk about..._

_It felt ridiculous- she was excited, like if she was going out on a date, which was absurd. Of course! _

_But she had to admit, that there was something about Jane, that made her extremely nervous._

_Maybe it was just the strange circumstances in which they had met. It was all so mysterious and Maura was so- well, lonely._

_But Janes dark, wild eyes and her even wilder hair, the pale skin and her voice... holy heavens, that voice!_

_When Jane stood right in front of her, saying "Dr. Isles" with that dark husky voice, it made her feel so... weird. She wasn`t quite sure, what it was, yet._

_What was she thinking?! _

_She told herself to stop being silly._

_Why should she even dress up?! _

_She spend the rest of the day, discussing things like that in her head, when finally work was over._

_As she drove home on the long and busy highway, her heart rate increased minute by minute._

_"What on earth is up with you, Maura Isles!? Don`t be ridiculous!", she told herself, but still her hands were shaking._

_At home, she spend two hours with choosing the right clothes, shoes and make up, which would look as if she wore none. _

_**I had dinner, so it wouldn`t be too hard to resist her incredible smell.**_

_**I had showered and as always after that, my hair was an untamed mess.**_

_**I counted the seconds until dusk and I waited in the trees much too early.**_

_**The park was still busy, but I just couldn`t help myself.**_

_**Lots of people had a nice barbecue with their families and friends and I felt a bitter sting of jealousy in my heart... I missed my mom.**_

_**I made myself comfortable on a big massive branch and let my mind wander...**_

_**My parents had died without knowing, that I was still... well, here.**_

_**My brothers would, too.**_

_**My mom believed, that she would meet me again in heaven. Guess, she knew better by now.**_

_**I was raised catholic, but after I had died, I knew, that there was no such thing as "God".**_

_**It was a painful revelation to me, but when I saw, how much strength that faith gave my mom in her time of mourning, I knew what it was good for.**_

_**Pictures of my childhood bubbled up uncontrollably and I felt the warmth of my mum, hugging me, singing to me, rocking me to sleep.**_

_**Gosh, I even missed her yelling and screaming at me and my little brothers all day long.**_

_**I wish I had spent more time with them, instead of getting myself shot at the harbour back then...**_

_**A heartbeat disturbed my heavy thoughts.**_

_**It was dark. The people were gone.**_

_**She was near.**_

_**What was that thing, that my stomach did every time she was around?! **_

_**Holy shit- it had to stop. NOW.**_

_**She was looking out for me.**_

_**I couldn`t force myself to go down... not yet.**_

_**Just a few minutes more, to look at her without her being aware of it.**_

_**She fumbled at her skirt.**_

_**She looked stunning.**_

_**Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, which exposed her beautiful tanned neck- over and over covert with freckles.**_

_**She wore a white shirt under a light black jacket and a tight black skirt that reached over her knees.**_

_**I climbed down the tree as soundless as possible and I approached her from behind.**_

_**She checked her phone, as I laid my hand on her shoulder.**_

_**"Anything interesting in there?", I asked quietly and she swirled around to show those incredibly gorgeous dimples, that I just couldn`t take my eyes off of.**_

_"Oh hey!"__**, she beamed when I sat myself down next to her.**_

_"I didn`t hear you coming!"_

_**"Oh, you couldn`t. I am used to approach innocent people soundless in the dark...", I half- joked and smirked at her.**_

_"You are?! What are you then? A serial killer who rescues helpless lonely women at night, just to kill them on the second date?"__**, she laughed**__._

_**"No. I`m a vampire. I thought, you already figured...". Guess who was in a playful mood?**_

_"Really? Well, in that case, I`m so excited to meet you- if you won`t kill me just now, of course. It would be such a gift to science to run a few tests on you."__**, she giggled.**_

_**"You`d like that, wouldn`t you? Everyone would run away screaming, begging for their lifes, but YOU- you would actually be thrilled, right?"**_

_"Seems like, you know me quite well, already. It`s a shame that I, on the other hand, haven`t even thought of you being a vampire yet. How could I miss that?!", __**she asked with a grin.**_

_**"It is a shame, indeed. I mean, you only meet me in the dark, I am pale as paper, I can approach you unnoticed and don`t forget these-", and I exposed my teeth.**_

_**She really looked surprised right now. Was I taking it too far? But a little piece inside of me, really wanted her to know- to hell with the consequences.**_

_"Oh wow, those really do look like fangs, actually. That`s extraordinary!"__**, she seemed to love it- I hoped.**_

_**"Yeah, I know, lucky genes, I guess. My brothers have those too." and I smiled a wry smile.**_

_"They look really sharp, actually- do you never bite your tongue?!"__** , she wondered.**_

_**"Uhm, no. I stick to beautiful virgins, but I figure, you`re not a virgin anymore, so- as sad as it is- you`re save tonight.", and I winked with a playful grin.**_

_**She blushed in a deep crimson red. I LOVED it. Adored it. I could hear her blood rushing.**_

_"Phew, lucky me, then... I guess."__**, she smiled shyly.**_

_**"You have no idea, what you`re missing!", and I laughed honestly, cause it was too cute to watch her struggle.**_

_**"How are you, though?", I asked curiously and I really wanted to know- after all...**_

_"I`m fine. Thanks. Why?"_

_**"No more fainting today?", I kept digging.**_

_"Oh, THAT! No. No more fainting. I guess, I was just a little dehydrated... and then, the heat and I was so... emotional, I..."__**, she stumbled.**_

_**"Did you drink enough today?"**_

_**She laughed. **__"Yeah, I did. I`m so sorry, you had to see me like that and that I gave you so much trouble taking me home."_

_**"No trouble, you`re as light as a feather.", I bit my tongue. Damn, Rizzoli, could you just think ONCE, before you open your big mouth?!**_

_"What?! You haven`t been carrying me, have you?!"__**, her eyes were wide, as she faced me. So. damn. close.**_

_**"NO! Of course not! I just picked you up off the floor and then I ran out on the path and grabbed two running guys, who carried you into their car and took us to your house. And then I just sat there until you woke up.", I lied.**_

_"Oh, you were lucky, there were still people around! Well, I was lucky, actually. I´m so glad you were there... Have I even thanked you for what you did?! I didn`t! Oh my gosh, I`m so sorry! I don`t know, what`s up with me, these days- I`m totally out of my mind, I- "__**, she babbled again.**_

_**I laid a finger on her lips. It was the second thing that came to mind. The first would have been my lips, but anyways...**_

_**"Stop. There`s no need to thank me. I was in the right place at the right time and I am glad I was there. So stop apologizing- there`s no reason for that."**_

_**And I put my finger down.**_

_**She smiled.**_

_"Thank-"__**, but I just gave her a warning look and she laughed. I laughed too.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_Hello ladies ( and a few gents :P )! Sooo, I have to correct myself- first there`s the "Fluff Part 2"- Chapter, before we can start a little drama ;) Happy to tell you, that I wrote the ending of the story yesterday and I actually like it- I hope you will too! Now I just have to write a little more stuff in between ;) I have 14 Chapters so far, by the way and a few more to come, I guess… So, I hope you all will stay tuned and enjoy what I have to share. Thanks for the nice reviews btw, they always make my day- so please keep writing :D Now- READ! :* _

_**Chapter 7.**_

_The park was dark and quiet. The crickets sang, a scream of an owl and a subtle breeze beneath the trees._

_But every now and then, the silence was broken by laughter._

_Two hours had gone by and Jane and Maura had talked and talked about everything and nothing._

_Maura felt drunk- with happiness. _

_She couldn`t even remember the last time, she had laughed so much, talked so much and felt so damn comfortable._

_Jane made it so easy for her. She was funny and smart and so very different from all the people she had to deal with in her everyday life._

_She was fresh. And wild. And Maura loved it. _

_It made her feel- so alive._

_"Gosh, my ass hurts- that bench is damn hard... ouch!", Jane stood and lay down on the grass just by the lake._

_Maura had to smile silly at the view._

_She walked over to Jane and lay down beside her quietly and she noticed, she just couldn`t stop grinning._

_**"Just look at that. So beautiful."**_

_Jane gazed up into the stars and her eyes had softened. So had her voice. She half whispered._

_Maura nodded silently and for the first time tonight, no one of them had the urge to speak._

_The wind blew a hint of Janes scent over to Maura and she inhaled deeply as if it was the last breath, she would wanna take._

_She wrapped herself up in that unique smell and wanted to hold that breath until she turned blue._

_Jane tried to stay focused and NOT think about, how easy it would be to just- STOP! _

_She clenched her jaw._

_Mauras heartbeat was calm and strong and it echoed in her ears- so hypnotizing._

_Jane knew, Mauras body was just inches away from her. If she could only roll over and wrap her arm around her slim waist and snuggle her face into those heavenly blonde curls of hers. But she could not. And it felt like choking._

_**"Is that a star or is it moving?"**__, Jane broke the silence._

_"What do you mean?", Maura asked and focused her eyes on the night sky__._

_**"Over there... see... it looks brighter than the other ones and I swear, it winks at me... look!"**__. _

_Jane pointed her finger to the sky, gettin all excited and Maura tried to follow._

_She turned her face, where the finger was, but couldn`t figure out which one Jane meant._

_**"Got it?"**__, Jane asked impatiently__._

_"No...uhm...", Maura kept searching._

_**"It`s not that hard- come over here..."**__, Jane said and opened up her arm to Maura, so she could lay down on it, to take a closer look to where Jane was pointing._

_Maura froze for a moment, staring down at the cosy space, Jane was offering to her._

_Why was her heart freaking out right now?!_

_She really felt dizzy and she hoped that Jane wouldn`t notice, how nervous she was about being so close to her._

_She slowly placed her head on Janes arm, right next to her, so Janes curls tickled her cheek._

_She would pass out. BREATHE._

_Jane, still staring at the sky, pulled her a little closer, so she could follow her finger- and their foreheads met._

_Skin on skin. So warm. _

_Maura couldn`t think. She didn`t noticed the stars. All she could think of was- SO. DAMN. WARM. _

_**"There."**__, Jane whispered right next to her ear and that hot breath stroke her skin and a wave of heat was washing over her, rolling through her body like a force and her stomach twisted. It felt weird. But this time, she knew what it was._

_"Uhm... I... oh... yeah. That. That`s Venus. On clear nights like this, many people mistake her for a UFO. It looks like she is changing her colour and she blinks, just like you noticed. But it`s just Venus, don`t worry.", Maura said and was relieved that she finally found her voice again._

_Should she move away now? _

_She did not. Jane did neither._

_**"Who said, I was worried? I was NOT... worried. At all."**__, Jane defended her honour and Maura couldn`t help but laugh at her pouting like a child._

_"Of course not. I`m sorry. You were just... curious, right?!", Maura giggled._

_**"Would you stop laughing?! YES, I was just curious. I`m always interested in learning new things... and since you know EVERYTHING, I thought I'd use your wisdom to teach me."**__, Jane went on._

_Maura couldn`t stop laughing. ,_

_Jane turned her head to watch her and Maura was immediately aware of Janes eyes on her._

_She could feel the softness of Janes breath on her neck. It made her stop giggling right away._

_"No. No, I don`t.", Maura said into the silence._

_Jane hadn`t noticed, that she was staring at her and she blinked at the sound of Mauras voice in the dark._

_**"You don`t- what?"**__, Jane asked softly without taking her eyes off Mauras face._

_Those long lashes. Those soft lips. Those dimples._

_Maura couldn`t force herself to face Jane. She kept concentrating on the stars._

_"I don`t know... anything.", she said sadly and sighed._

_Jane was just looking at her, letting that information sink in._

_"My head is full of information and knowledge of all kinds of things. Science... But I don`t know a single thing about life. I don`t feel like... I have one. My life is empty. I`ve got my work- and that`s all. I`ve got no family. No friends. I don`t even know what love feels like. I forgot how it felt to feel comfortable around people, to laugh like this, to talk... until tonight."._

_All those words just bubbled up as if they had waited inside of her head for a very long time, to finally be spoken out loudly._

_Jane inhaled deeply, when she noticed the pain on Mauras face. The loneliness. The resignation._

_Maura felt Janes glare burning little holes into her skin. Had she said too much?_

_Jane was at a loss for words. Her brain was a black hole right now._

_Instead of saying anything, she just curled her arm up a little tighter around Mauras body, squeezing her arm with one hand. Her thumb rubbing little circles on her bare skin._

_Maura faced Jane for just one second at the sensation of the contact, just to find two incredibly sad dark eyes, looking back at her with such seriousness, it made her heart crumble._

_Quickly she returned her gaze to the night sky and forced a crooked smile, which made her look even more sad than before._

_"Sorry. That sounded... I didn`t meant to ruin- this.", her free hand gestured while she let out a heavy breath._

_Jane remained silent, continuing to rub the back of Mauras hand._

_**"You could never."**__, the husky voice said quietly._

_Maura looked at her, when she felt tears fight their way up._

_Jane could feel it and she was horrified, cause she knew, she couldn`t stand to see her cry._

_She tried a smile. A little, understanding, heartfelt smile._

_Maura couldn`t help but laugh a little at the fact, how happy she felt, just looking at that face of an almost stranger._

_What that face did to her. How those eyes made anything else around them disappear. How that smile made the sun rise inside of her heart. How her stomach kind of ached, when they touched, or by the sound of her laughter or... ugh. What the hell was going on?_

_**I managed to take my eyes of her face, that was pure art to me. Perfection.**_

_**We lay there in silence for a while, letting our thoughts wander.**_

_**I tried to stay out of her mind- I knew I couldn`t handle, what I`d might hear.**_

_**Suddenly we both jumped a little, as we saw a shooting star flashing on the black night sky.**_

_**Our heads bumped into one another and we both laughed and screamed for a moment, like "LOOK! THERE! MAKE A WISH!" and then we both pressed our eyes shut and fell silent.**_

_**I didn`t know what to wish for. My heart wanted to wish for a life with her- happily ever after. Which was impossible and I wanted to slap myself for that mushy crap popping up in my brain. STOP BEING ALL SILLY, RIZZOLI! **_

_**But then, without any warning, I heard her voice loud and clear in my mind, as if she was directly talking to me. Her wish.**_

_**It was, like she was screaming it into the night.**_

_**My throat went tight. My chest was heavy and my heart ached. DON`T START CRYING NOW, RIZZOLI!**_

_**Her voice echoed in my ear. "**__I wanna have THIS forever. Please..."._

_**I inhaled deeply. Breathe. Slowly. Breathe. Slowly.**_

_**I heard her sigh.**_

_**I was afraid to look at her.**_

_"Well... did you make your wish?"__**, I heard her say quietly.**_

_**My head was a mess. So was my heart. My thoughts were race cars, running in circles, loud and fast and I couldn`t think one straight thought.**_

_**So I looked at her. And she looked back at me. **_

_**A little shy smile playing on her lips and those adorable dimples showed. Oh my.**_

_**And my mouth began to speak, without asking for permission**__**.**_

_**"What more could I wish for?".**_

_**WHAT. THE. HELL.**_

_**The smile disappeared. Her eyes softened. She searched my face, my eyes for- I don`t know what- and it made me feel so terribly naked, that I just couldn`t suppress a nervous laugh.**_

_**Her smile was back. Beautiful and bright and warm and perfect. And she squeezed my arm, that was still slung around her slim figure, while she snuggled up a little closer, letting out a satisfied sigh.**_

_They didn`t know, how much time had gone by and how long they were staring at the sky, wrapped up in each other- not saying a word._

_The world was peaceful._

_Maura asked herself, if she ever felt so much at ease, like she did now- snuggled up in the arms of a woman she barely knew._

_Thinking about it, this situation was more than bizarre- but she didn`t care._

_Her breath was steady and slow and she felt warm and fuzzy and sleepy._

_"Okay, come on.", Janes raspy voice woke her up softly._

_Maura opened her eyes and blinked._

_Jane sat over her, grinning sheepishly down on her._

_"You´re about to fall asleep and I couldn`t stand to wake you, so... we`ll better be going...", and she offered her a hand._

_Maura sighed but she tried not to look too disappointed._

_Jane pulled her to her feet and without thinking, Maura linked her arm into Janes and they started walking._

_"Where do you live, by the way?", Maura asked curiously._

_Jane smirked. "I told you, I am a vampire, so where do you think I live?", she grinned._

_Maura pondered for a second. "Oh! You live in a grave then?"_

_Jane laughed out loud and heartfelt._

_"Oh, the cliché! No. I live by the Forest Hill Cemetery, actually- very quiet, very peaceful out there.", she stated honestly._

_Maura looked at her and suppressed a smile. Her cute dimples showed._

_"You`re not kidding me, are you?", but Jane shook her head laughing._

_"I`m not! Totally serious here. I have a nice little house... well, it`s TINY compared to yours actually... but it was cheap, cause no one wanted to live that close to the cemetery, you know... because of the ghosts and zombies and of course- the vampires.", Jane explained._

_Maura giggled and looked up to Jane, who seemed so strong and tall beside her and who made her feel so incredibly safe, even if she was skinny as hell._

_"Seriously?! There are people who would NOT buy a cheap and beautiful house, just because it`s next to a cemetery?! That is ridiculous!", Maura said and shook her head._

_Jane looked down on her with a wry smile, saying "You only say that, because you know ME and you think, I`m not dangerous..."._

_"I say that, cause there is not a single evidence that either one of the myths you just mentioned actually exists. Of course, now I know YOU, but to be honest, you wouldn`t scare me away...", Maura grinned playfully._

_Jane stopped walking abruptly and Maura turned around to see her staring back at her with a challenging look on her face._

_Maura couldn`t help but laugh hard at the expression._

_"Funny, huh? You think, your science knows everything and just because I`m being nice to you, I couldn`t hurt you, huh?"._

_Jane had come closer but Maura didn`t shy away, she giggled even harder._

_Now she was standing right in front of her, only inches apart and Maura felt the strange sensation of every single hair on her body standing up straight._

_Her laughter died down as she looked up into Janes serious black eyes, which seemed to glow like fire in the dark right now._

_They pierced right through Mauras body and left her feeling weak and shaken._

_The look on Janes face was wicked and Maura didn`t know, if she liked it or if it scared her._

_"Hm.", Jane observed her closely, her eyes wandering down her neck and Mauras heart seemed to explode in her chest._

_Jane raised a hand to trace away a curl of Mauras golden ponytail from her shoulder and the burn it left, when Janes fingers tickled her skin, was sending shivers down her spine._

_Jane noticed the pulse on Mauras neck, strong and fast, saw the blue of her veins shimmering under her sun tanned skin and the more she focused, the more she could hear her blood rush and her heart beat. _

_It almost deafened her. Her vision blurred. She made a step. Closer. Her smell was overwhelming. She began to lose control..._

_Maura noticed the change in Janes look. The fire in her eyes. The... she couldn`t tell... hunger? Lust? Wanting?_

_She tried to break the tension and poked Jane in her belly, "What- are you going to bite me now?!" , she joked, but as Jane didn`t answered and not even laughed, she felt slightly uncomfortable._

_Jane was breathing heavily and her hot breath stroke Mauras cheek. SO. CLOSE._

_Maura swallowed hard. Her giggle had died._

_"You know...", Jane breathed and bend her head down slowly, "...it would be so easy to just...", she whispered and she opened her mouth a little._

_Maura stopped breathing. Not because she was afraid. No. She thought this was a joke. But because Janes lips wandered closer and closer to her neck and she couldn`t hide the fact, that her whole body was craving for her touch. It ached._

_Do it! Please, please, please, DO IT!, Maura begged in her head._

_She could feel Janes heat on her sensitive skin and she suppressed a moan, cause she thought it would be inappropriate. Jane was only joking- right?!_

_Meanwhile Jane vanished in Mauras heavenly scent. It felt like a trance. She had closed her eyes and she cautiously braced Mauras neck with her sharp teeth._

_Maura let out a shaky breath. _

_Oh my god, what is happening here?!, Maura asked herself, while her body screamed and yelled like never before- MORE!_

_**The tremble in her breath pulled me back into reality. **_

_**My lips were on her neck. My teeth were either.**_

_**Just a little bite and I could have tasted her sweet warm blood on my lips. It was almost irresistible**__**.**_

_**But then it echoed in my ear. THIS IS MAURA!**_

_**Quickly I took a step back and I stared at her in shock.**_

_**She stared back at me so vulnerable, full of question, confused and shaken and... disappointed?**_

_**Say something, Rizzoli! NOW!**_

_**So I forced a fake laugh.**_

_**"Sorry, I almost forgot, you are not a virgin anymore... I hope you didn`t mind- you know, vampires are so damn hard to control...", I smirked and I could hardly manage to look her in the eye.**_

_**The urge to kiss her- at least- was so overwhelming, that I couldn`t trust myself to stay in control.**_

_**I tried not to stare at her neck, at that pumping vein under her skin.**_

_**For a second, she just stared back at me, then she tried to laugh.**_

_"Oh. Uh... no, I didn`t mind...", __**she cleared her throat**__, "The stories are true it seems. I admit, I felt kind of hypnotized by you. You could have just bitten me, I guess.", __**she said a little out of breath and she laughed a nervous little laugh.**_

_**Oh, she had no idea, how much I wanted her... it almost hurt. No. I did hurt.**_

_**"To damn you for all eternity?", I asked her seriously and the confused look in her eyes made me break inside.**_

_**I looked down to my feet as I said, "No, I could never do that.".**_

_**"Come on, let`s go.", I tried a half smile and pushed her to walk on.**_

_**She seemed confused, cause she didn`t talk much on the rest of our way to her house.**_

_Mauras mind was spinning. Jane was weird. She couldn't` t tell, what had just happened. _

_One second, Jane was funny and playful und sarcastic and in a blink of an eye, she was all serious and kind of- sad._

_Was this a sign of depression maybe?_

_Whatever it was, it didn`t change the fact, how she made her feel._

_Maura had to face the fact, that she had felt more than physically attracted to Jane this evening._

_Lying in her arm, feeling her hair on her face, smelling her scent, feel her breath on her skin and then- her teeth... she got weak, just thinking about it._

_She had to admit to herself, that she had never been so aroused in her life- not even when she had sex with random men._

_She always thought, she might be kind of asexual- that sex just wasn`t her thing, cause she could hardly think of anything to turn her on._

_But this- HER... it almost knocked her off her feet._

_And her stomach twisted at the thought of letting her go in just a few minutes. She wanted her to stay._

_But there was nothing she could do and so they reached her front door in silence._

_Maura fumbled her keys out of her bag and Jane just stood there, watching her._

_"So.", Maura exhaled and smiled a sad smile, when she finally found the courage to face Jane._

_Janes smile seemed so sad, she almost grimaced__._

_Was she feeling the same?_

_But Maura wouldn`t dare to ask or even make a move._

_Jane made two steps towards her and pulled her into a tight, long hug._

_Mauras heart pumped to the max. She so wanted to grab Janes face and kiss her... hours and hours._

_But instead, she just buried her face in Janes soft curls and inhaled as deep as she could._

_Finally Jane let go of her. DON`T! Maura wanted to say._

_"Good night, Maura. This was...perfect. Thank you.", Jane stated very softly and then she turned around to go._

_"Jane!", Maura said quickly._

_Jane turned around and their eyes met. Mauras brain was blank._

_Say something!_

_"Thank YOU. I can`t remember the last time, I had so much fun."._

_Jane just smiled and then she was gone._

_The silence hit her like a hammer._

_Jane was gone. And it felt like choking. It felt horrible._

_When she opened her front door, her house had never been so empty, so painfully quiet, so cold._

_She felt like crying- but why?_

_And while she was searching for Bass to talk to, at least, she realized, that they hadn`t fixed another "date"._

_Panic was creeping up her spine._

_They hadn`t exchanged numbers, nor did she know her full address- Forest Hill Cemetery was huge and she wasn`t even sure, if that wasn`t just a joke._

_Why hadn`t she even asked for her surname? DAMN IT!_

_It took her hours to fall asleep that night._


	8. Chapter 8

_Sooo, here we go. Fluff is over :P Now, I hope you will enjoy the next one- please let me know what you think! ;)_

_**Chapter 8.**_

_**I was staring at the ceiling for about 3 hours now. Three hours since I had left her on her doorsteps.**_

_**Again and again I replayed that evening in my mind. **_

_**Her face. Her laugh. Her wish. Her smell...**_

_**I pulled the blanket over my head and let out a despaired groan.**_

_**Why did I let it come so far? Far too far.**_

_**What had I done?!**_

_**I could have bitten her. She wanted it.**_

_**I was so close to damn her forever- into a life that wasn`t worth living.**_

_**She would`ve become a monster. Like me.**_

_**Tears streamed down my face. I sobbed like a child.**_

_**How did it all got so out of hand? So quickly?!**_

_**I had to end this.**_

_**I knew, she would try to find me. I knew it would break her heart.**_

_**But I also knew, it was the only way to safe her. From me.**_

_Four days had gone by and with every day, Maura felt worse._

_She had been to the lake every damn night. For hours._

_Jane didn`t show up._

_Had she done something wrong?_

_Was it just a fun night for Jane, but nothing worth repeating?_

_Where was she? What was she doing?_

_Her thoughts were circling around Jane through the days and nights._

_She could hardly focus on her work or anything else._

_Her days seemed lonely and dark, even if it was the same days she had lived for years and years now._

_But that was before- Jane._

_On the fourth night without any sign of Jane at the lake, she went into a bar, she came by on her way home._

_That was very unlikely for her, but she felt numb and sad and she just wanted to do, as they did in the movies- go into a bar and get hammered._

_She ordered a bottle of the best red wine they had to offer and she sat down by herself and started drinking._

_After her third glass, a guy sat down next to her and introduced himself as Henry Jenkins._

_Henry Jenkins was a tall, slim man in his forties, she guessed, with dark brown hair and friendly brown eyes._

_He wore a nice grey suit and he smelled pretty good._

_He asked the same stupid questions, every man asks a single woman in a bar. "Are you alone here?". "Why is a beautiful woman like you alone in a bar?". "You want some company?"._

_Usually Maura would have dumped him with one single look, but tonight everything was different._

_She was lonely. Unhappy. Despaired. And the wine was doing its thing._

_So she talked to him and to her surprise, she noticed he wasn`t all stupid and annoying._

_He was indeed quite charming and smart._

_He managed to make her half-laugh at least._

_And the more she drank, the more his dark brown eyes reminded her of Jane._

_It was silly. But everytime she looked into those eyes, it was like she could hear Janes laugh from far away._

_And just for seconds, his face morphed into Janes- her smile, her wild eyes, her sharp chin... Maura blinked. She was gone._

_He talked and talked and Maura smiled politely, while pretending she was talking to Jane._

_The bottle of wine was almost empty, so it worked pretty good already._

_Finally he did as expected and made a move on her. He played with one of her curls, tangled his fingers in her hair and then he tried to kiss her._

_Maura backed away for a single second, but then, she saw Janes face again and so she gave in._

_It felt nice. Maura let it happen._

_She took him home around the corner and he carried her to bed._

_When he took off his shirt, Maura was painfully aware that this was NOT Jane at all, but she focused on his dark eyes and there she was again. Oh yeah._

_It didn`t feel like Jane. He didn`t smell like Jane. But Maura closed her eyes tightly and pretended it was her._

_She kissed him- and she felt her. It worked._

_It all went quickly as usual and when she came- she thought of Jane._

_**It hit me in the middle of the night.**_

_**I hadn`t been out for days. I hadn`t eaten for days.**_

_**I felt weak and sick and tired of life. Or death. Whatever.**_

_**I hadn`t showered or cleaned up- I just laid in my bed and felt sorry for myself. And Maura.**_

_**And then it hit me. Maura.**_

_**I felt her.**_

_**I had tried to block her out as good as I could, the last couple of days, which was hard, cause her sadness was overwhelming.**_

_**But this was stronger. **_

_**Was this- lust?!**_

_**Something inside of me went black. A big screaming black hole, cold as icy water spread inside of me and my brain switched off.**_

_**I don`t know, how I got there.**_

_**I was in front of her house and I heard the noises. Her moaning. And- him.**_

_**The icy water turned to fire. I was burning. Everything ached. I lost my mind.**_

_**The minutes felt like hours and I was a tiger in a cage.**_

_**Then he left the house.**_

_**NOT. YET.**_

_**He went around a corner and SURPRISE!**_

_**He bumped into me and mumbled a "Sorry!" just before I broke his neck within the blink of an eye.**_

_**I didn`t even checked, if anyone could see us, but he didn`t made a sound, so- my luck.**_

_**I literally sucked him dry. Every single drop of blood I could get. I was in trance.**_

_**When there was nothing left inside of him, I sliced his throat open**_

_**I cut right through my bite-marks, so nobody would notice them.**_

_**Same old.**_

_**I left him there.**_

_**I didn`t care, what the police would think. I couldn`t think straight anyway.**_

_Maura told Frost, that she was sick, when he called her in for a new case._

_She had never rang in sick for years. But her head ached like crazy. And her heart ached even more._

_She felt dirty. _

_What had she done? This wasn`t like her..._

_She stayed in bed until noon and then she forced herself to get to work._

_Frost and Korsac were studying files, when Maura arrived._

_She rubbed her face and took a deep breath. _

_Focus. _

_She took some steps closer and joined them on their desk._

_"Hey, Dr. Isles. You`re feeling better?", Korsac asked and looked at her a little worried._

_"Yes, thank you, Sergeant. I just had a terrible headache, but it`s getting better.", she forced a smile._

_"Good!", Korsac smiled back at her, "Cause we have something! Damn Phantom killed another one. No `Most wanted´ this time, just a random guy it seems, BUT he left his murder weapon on the crime scene! He finally made a mistake!", Korsac was obviously over the moon._

_"Oh. What is it?", Maura asked._

_"THAT´S where it`s getting interesting. It`s an old army knife, we once found on a crime scene, years ago. But before we could take any prints, it disappeared without a trace. All that`s left was a picture and it is exactly the same. See? Same scratch-marks here and here... And the initials- F.R... can`t be coincidence, right?", he explained. _

_"Doubtful. So, you think it`s the same person? Which case was it then?" Maura asked honestly curious now._

_Korsac opened one of the files. Patrick Doyle._

_She had heard of him before. One of Bostons most feared irish mob hit man in the 60s and 70s. He had killed dozens of people until he died under mysterious circumstances about thirty years ago._

_"Paddy Doyle.", Korsac stated. "His throat was sliced open, just like all of the phantoms victims. AND, guess what I found- there was a lot of blood missing, when they found him back then!", he said almost ecstatic__._

_He pushed the file over to Maura and she took a quick look over the facts._

_She turned the pages and there it was. _

_Jane._

_A picture of her in a Boston police uniform._

_Mauras head seemed to explode. Heat washed over her like a burning wave and she felt like she couldn`t breathe._

_Korsac noticed that something has caught her attention and he looked over her shoulder to see what it was._

_"Oh damn. Sweet little Jane Rizzoli. She was one of the best...", he sighed and shook his head._

_"What do you mean, Sergeant? Did she retire? What has she to do with this cold case? Do you know, where she lives? I really need to talk to her!", Maura babbled out of control._

_Frost and Korsac looked at her confused._

_"That`s detective Jane Rizzoli, Dr. Isles. Paddy Doyle most definitely murdered her in the early eighties. Her body was never found, but she observed Doyle and was about to nail him, when she vanished without a trace by the harbour. Her blood was found on the ground... lots of blood...", he almost whispered and rubbed his eyes. "She was my partner.", he sighed sadly._

_Mauras mind was spinning. She got sick._

_She ran out to the restrooms and she puked until she felt completely empty and numb._

_A knock on the door. _

_"Are you okay, Dr. Isles?", Frost asked hesitantly._

_"Uh... yeah... I... I´m coming...", she said under her breath._

_She washed her face and drank some water. Then she took a deep breath and got back into the office._

_"Good lord, you look pale- come and sit down here, Dr. Isles.", Korsac said worried and offered her a chair._

_Maura took a seat and tried to collect her thoughts._

_Janes picture. Jane Rizzoli. Killed in the eighties?! WHAT?!_

_She got sick again. Her breath was shaking._

_"That`s... that`s not possible. I know Jane. I met her a couple of days ago, she is alive, she...", Maura shook her head._

_Korsac and Frost looked at each other, then back at Maura._

_"Dr. Isles, if Jane was alive- and god knows, I wish she was- she would be around seventy years already. She was about your age when she died- or when she disappeared. I was all new in the homicide unit, just turned 21 and she was my hero. I would have done anything to be like her. She was courageous, had one hell of a big mouth, an incredible gut feeling, when it came to our cases... no one would have messed with Jane Rizzoli. But she did a mistake that night. She was obsessed with tracking Doyle down and she lost her head. She didn`t wait for my back up...", his voice trembled. "It was my fault. I should have been there...", he sobbed._

_Frost padded his shoulder. "It was nobody's fault, Sergeant."_

_Maura couldn`t believe what she was hearing. She took that picture again and studied that face. It was her- nobody else could have that face, that smile._

_"Can I have a copy of this one, Sergeant?", she asked shaken and she copied a big version of that heavenly face._

_"You must mistake her for somebody else..." Korsac said, "... but then again, it would be hard to mistake her for somebody else, if you knew her.", he laughed._

_"She could pin you on the wall with one look and damn, that hair... She always looked bewildered. I loved her.", he smiled._

_"I know. Uh, I mean, I see.", Maura stumbled._

_When she turned around and faced the wall with the pictures of the victims, the crime scene and the suspects, it hit her in the guts again._

_Last nights victim lay on his back, eyes wide open and a name was scribbled above the picture. Henry Jenkins._

_Maura eyes widened in horror._

_"Where... where was he found?", Maura almost whispered._

_"Not far from where you live, Dr. Isles. Haven`t you heard the sirens in the morning?" Korsac asked curiously._

_"And guess what- that was really odd. His throat was sliced open, but there was almost no blood left in his body... As if the killer had taken it with him", he said and shook his head in thought._

_Too. much. information. ERROR. ERROR._

_"... Uh, my head aches like hell and I`m still sick to my stomach- is it okay, if I go home and start over tomorrow, Sergeant Korsac?", she asked him and of course, he wouldn`t say no._

_She got out on the street and sucked in a deep breath. The world was spinning._

_What the hell had just happened?_

_She pulled out the picture again, stared at it for a minute and put it back into her bag._

_How could it be? How could she be dead?_

_She started walking._

_She saw her face, heard her voice, she went over everything from the first time they met._

_I had missed someone, and she came. She ran from me. Disappeared in the dark. Then I called for her and she was there. Catched me. Took me home. She knew my name. She was so pale. A vampire, she said. Just meet me in the dark, she said. The dead rabbit on the ground. Where she sat. The fangs. Oh my gosh, am I going insane? This was not possible... Oh, the change in her look- the fire in her eyes, the lust when she tried to...- bite me? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh... Get a grip, Maura- vampires do NOT exist... right?_

_She arrived home. She shut the door behind her and she cried out loud. She ran from room to room, crying, clueless what to do._

_She had to find Jane, she HAD TO._

_She grabbed her keys and drove nine miles through the town to reach Forest Hill Cemetery__._

_How should she find her? This area was huge._

_Maura pondered._

_She had said, she lived BY the Cemetery, so close, that most people didn`t wanted to live here._

_She drove from house to house, getting off the car, studying the names on the doors._

_Would she use her real name? She wondered._

_One and a half hour later she arrived a beautiful little house a bit away from the streets, right on the edge of the Cemetery__._

_You could literally look on the graves, if you would watch out of those windows, she mused._

_Her heart raced- something told her, that this was it. _

_She kind of... felt it?_

_It felt exactly the same, than when Jane was standing behind her at the lake... or was she just pretending?_

_She walked up the stairs to the front door. No name. Just two initials above the bell. J.R.!_

_She knew it!_

_Her heart hammered against her chest, when she raised her trembling hand to knock on the dark wooden door._

_No answer. _

_"Jane?". Maura asked._

_Nothing. But she couldn`t help but feel, she was in there. On the other side._

_"Jane, it`s me... Maura. Are you there?". Her heart raced._

_Was there a noise? Was someone moving?_

_She laid her ear on the door._

_"Jane, please, I need to talk to you!", she called out._

_But deep down inside she knew, that Jane wouldn`t answer._


	9. Chapter 9

_Hey there, I'm back. So, I 'm gonna give you a little drama and I hope you will enjoy it! If you do, please leave a review, as I just love reading them :D Have a great day and read on ;)_

_**Chapter 9.**_

_**It was a wild mixture of emotions.**_

_**I was impressed, that she had found me. And happy. And thankful.**_

_**And I was scared, and it did hurt and made me sad.**_

_**Knocking on the front door.**_

_**I held my breath.**_

_**Stared at the door, as if she was coming right through.**_

_"Jane?"__**, her voice... her heavenly incomparable voice.**_

_**I put my hand over my mouth, as if to hold myself back from screaming `Yes! I`m here and I miss you and I go crazy without you!´.**_

_"Jane, it`s me... Maura. Are you there?".__** Yes. I`m right here.**_

_**I quietly made some soft steps over to the door . I could feel her.**_

_**She had her hands pressed against the door- it was like I could see her handprints through the old heavy wood.**_

_**I laid my hand against them and closed my eyes.**_

_**I could smell her unique sweet spicy scent and I leaned my head against the door.**_

_**A soft bump. Did she hear me? I didn`t dare to move.**_

_"Jane, please, I need to talk to you!"__**, she begged.**_

_**My chest hurt. So did my head. **_

_**Go away. Please.**_

_**Go. Go. Go. Go. Go...**_

_**Soft footsteps disappearing from the door.**_

_**Her scent still lingered in the air.**_

_**She was gone.**_

_Maura sat in her car and felt numb._

_She considered to just wait in the car all day and all night- at some point, Jane had to leave the house, right?_

_But for some reason, Jane didn`t wanted to see her again. For some reason, she didn`t answer._

_Maura drove home._

_She felt paralyzed. _

_The landscape was flying by, people, traffic... she was in a tunnel. At the end- there was Jane. But the faster she drove, the faster Jane disappeared._

_She didn`t went to work. _

_She found out everything about the Rizzoli family. _

_Her parents had both passed away a couple of years ago, just her two younger brothers still lived in Boston._

_Should she visit them? And then what?_

_Sorry to disturb you, but I met your older sister... just that she is way younger than you are now and oh- I think she is dead. Well, not really dead- just not alive. Undead. A vampire, you know?_

_Not the best idea, she had to admit. They couldn`t help her anyway._

_She couldn`t believe, she was thinking about vampires here. She was a scientist. Vampires were a myth- it wasn`t possible, that creatures like that actually existed__._

_But she felt, like she was going insane anyway, and if that explained, why Jane was still here- so be it._

_She didn`t care, what or who she was, she just wanted her back in her life._

_Cause whether she liked it or not- she had never felt more alive, more wanted, more at ease, more sane than she did in her arms._

_And the more Maura pondered about Jane and everything that has happened, the more she got the feeling, that there was a connection- something, she just couldn`t explain._

_She felt her, when she was near. And didn`t Jane show up a couple of times, just when Maura needed her. And then..._

_A cold shower of horror ran down her spine._

_Henry Jenkins. Dead. By her house. After they had sex. No blood. NO. BLOOD!_

_Mauras heart skipped a beat. Her breath increased heavily and it felt like the room was spinning. _

_She put a hand on her heart and closed her eyes. NO. BLOOD._

_Had she killed him? Because of her?_

_Maura whimpered._

_"Oh my god! Jane... what have you done?!", she cried out and the tears ran down her face._

_More and more she realized- if she had murdered Henry Jenkins, than she was also the killer of all the other phantoms victims._

_Jane was the phantom!_

_"JANE! I know, you can hear me! Don`t you leave me like that!", she screamed desperately__._

_She felt something- sadness. Loneliness. Guilt. It was Jane. She knew it._

_Mauras brain switched off._

_She took her keys and got in the car. She drove straight to the railways._

_She stumbled out and she looked at her watch. Four minutes._

_Jane could feel her- she knew it. This just HAD to work._

_If not- well... let`s just hope, it would work._

_She saw the lights coming closer and closer. She jumped down on the railway._

_The pipes hurt her ears. She didn`t move._

_Her heart seemed to explode in her chest._

_The train was so fast, that Maura had to close her eyes._

_"Please Jane, please, please, please...", she whispered and the pipes were right in front of her now._

_She could feel the wind on her face. Now. Now._

_**No matter how hard I tried, I couldn`t manage to block Maura out.**_

_**Her desperation was so overwhelming, that it almost took my breath away.**_

_**Her sadness took hold of my heart, like a black fist of stone, that just wouldn`t let go.**_

_**She called for me. She cried. She begged.**_

_**I cried. It was torture. My body ached. It was like burning up inside.**_

_**And then. I heard the pipes.**_

_**I saw the lights. **_

_**And I ran. No, I flew.**_

_**I crashed into her, almost as hard as the train might have hit her.**_

_**I pinned her to the ground, as the train raced by with the pipes screaming like crazy.**_

_**I got her. **_

_**My heart hurt.**_

_**I got her.**_

_**The train was gone. It was dark. And silent.**_

_**All I could hear was my shaking breath. My racing heart.**_

_**I got her.**_

_**Slowly I became aware of her lying underneath me.**_

_**She didn`t move.**_

_**Oh my gosh- did I kill her?!**_

_**I jumped up and looked at her.**_

_**Her eyes were open. She was looking at me. Her eyes were empty.**_

_**NO PLEASE, NO!**_

_**"MAURA!", I heard myself scream.**_

_**I knelt down by her side, taking her face in my hands.**_

_**She blinked.**_

_"I knew, you would come."__**, she whispered weakly.**_

_**Chaos in me. Ecstasy, cause she was alive. And rage... uncontrollable rage. How could she?!**_

_**I took a few steps back, shaking my head in disbelieve.**_

_**"WHAT?!", I asked furiously.**_

_**She got up, coming closer.**_

_**I stared at her, not sure if I should kiss or slap her.**_

_"You wouldn`t talk to me... I knew, you wouldn`t let me die here..."__**, she said, her eyes full of worry.**_

_**She was just a step away from me. Tears were shimmering in her eyes.**_

_"Please Jane. Don`t leave me like this... not after all you`ve done to me... Not after you... gave my life meaning..."__**, she whispered.**_

_**I swallowed hard. I couldn`t look at her- with those tears in her eyes, that begging look on her face... I had to stay strong.**_

_**I concentrated on my shoes, trying to think straight. Didn`t succeed.**_

_**She was right in front of me now, her forehead almost touching mine.**_

_**Her smell. **_

_**I exhaled.**_

_**"You have no idea, what you`re talking about. You don`t know who I am. I`m a monster...". **_

_**It almost choked me to say that- but it was true.**_

_**Her hands gripped my arms tightly, as if she wanted to wake me.**_

_"Don`t you dare say that! I don`t know WHAT you are, but I know how you make me feel... and you`re not a monster. You brought me to life."__**, she breathed choked by tears.**_

_**I wanted to be strong, but as I tried to breathe, I sobbed helplessly.**_

_**I hugged myself like a child. I wanted to get away from her. No one should see me like this**__**.**_

_**Her arms, her scent, her warmth- all around me. Her hair in my face.**_

_**I tried to break lose, but she wouldn`t let me.**_

_**She whispered into my ear,**__ "Stay with me, Jane, please... don`t leave me. Don`t leave me..."._

_**She repeated that like a spell... or a curse- I wasn`t sure.**_

_**She took my face in her hands and tried to look into my eyes, but I refused. I couldn`t. **_

_**I sobbed and wept and I wouldn`t let her see me.**_

_**But she got a grip of me and while she whispered on and on, that I shouldn`t leave her, she kissed my face again and again. Over and over.**_

_**Tiny hot kissed left a burning trace on my skin. Her breath. On my skin. Her lips. SO. DAMN. CLOSE.**_

_**My head was a mushy mess, numb and hypnotized.**_

_**Don`t leave me. Don`t leave me. Echoed in my ears.**_

_**Kisses. Breaths. Every inch of my body reacted to the heat, she was reflecting.**_

_**I was hot and excited and everything I could think of, was touching her, kissing her, wrapping myself around her, taste her...**_

_**"Don`t. Maura. DON`T!" I tried a half-hearted warning. She wouldn`t stop.**_

_**"STOP MAURA!", I finally found the strengths to push her away.**_

_**The weight of the world was showing in her eyes. It broke my heart.**_

_**"Don`t you get it?", I whispered, "I could kill you...".**_

_**She let the words sink in for a second.**_

_**Then she nodded firmly and she came back to me, grabbing my hands.**_

_"I know.",__** she sobbed**__. "But...",__** she found my eyes, **__" I don`t care."__**, and hell broke loose**__**...**_


	10. Chapter 10

_Aaaand- I'm back! :D Thank you guys so much for the lovely reviews, you are all so sweet and I am totally over the moon, that you like this stuff so much *Yaaay* Okay, time for Jane to talk. I hope you like it… I think, I'm gonna end the story soon and I am sooo excited, if you will like the ending!:D Anyway, enjoy the read and let me know, what you think. Oh, and thanks for being nice and forgiving me my mistakes, as I know, my English could be better- but I'm trying ;)_

_**Chapter 10.**_

_Never in her life had she felt so relieved, like in the moment, she felt Janes hands in hers__._

_Never in her life, her life had been more in danger, as now, being near her__._

_She could bite her just now and Maura would end up like the poor rabbit on the lake._

_All those thoughts bubbled up in her head, standing there, holding on to Jane, like she was drowning._

_And what now? She wasn`t sure, she could take the conversation, that was just inevitable__._

_Janes sobs had subsided._

_**"Maura... I know, what you think you feel for me, okay- but if I would be a part of your life, I would ruin yours... I know, you don`t wanna hear this, but you haven`t got a clue, who I am and what I did- and what I could do... to you."**__, Jane tried to explain._

_Mauras eyes were wide and full of questions, but most of all, they were full of adoration. Jane felt weak. This would be harder than she thought._

_"I maybe don`t know, who you are... WHAT you are... I don`t know your life before me, but I know... I KNOW- you would never hurt me.", Maura stated stubbornly._

_She might be right, but how could she be sure?_

_Jane wasn`t. She knew what she wanted, but she could never tell, if the hunger- the hunt- wouldn`t overwhelm her, if she came too close to her._

_**"I wish..." **__ Jane whispered, shaking her head sadly._

_There was nothing, Maura could say... nothing she could think of. _

_Jane was right and Maura was very well aware._

_But no matter how much she tried to... care- she just didn`t._

_Jane was here, with her and what in the world could matter more than THIS?!_

_Her hand gently traced Janes cheek and finally- FINALLY- she looked up to meet Mauras eyes._

_If all the sadness in this world could show through the eyes of a human being- this was it. _

_It ripped her heart into a thousand pieces and she would`ve given anything to take that weight off her shoulders._

_Mauras brain was blank. There was nothing she could say. ' I`m sorry. So sorry for everything bad that ever happened to you in your life... and in your death... or- what do you call it? What can I do to make you feel better? Let me make you forget everything and just let me see that smile again- that smile, which lightens up my whole world. Tell me everything about you- how did you become what you are? How did it feel? How do you eat? How does it taste? Do you sleep? Can you feel pain? '._

_Thousands of questions bubbled up in her head, all of a sudden, but none of them was appropriate to ask... now._

_"Can you take me with you? To your house? Just to talk?" she asked softly, praying inside, that Jane would give in._

_Janes eyes were absent, like she was looking right through her. She bit her lip. Sucked her cheek. She fought a battle and Maura could see it._

_"I won`t ask any questions, if you`re not ready to answer and I won`t talk at all, if you just... I... just wanna be there. With you. Please.", Maura stated honestly._

_Suddenly Jane came back to the moment and met Mauras eyes. __**"You like speed?"**__, she asked out of the blue._

_Maura frowned. "What do you mean? By car? I`m a safe driver, I`d say. Why?"_

_**"No. I mean, do you like speed- just... being fast? You get sick?"**__, she asked seriously and Maura had no idea, what to make of it._

_"I think I can take speed, but what-", Maura was interrupted by Janes arms, lifting her up from the ground, like she weighed nothing. _

_It was silly, but she felt like the girls in the superhero movies, as she slung her arms around Janes neck._

_She looked up to her face in question, but no sound escaped from her mouth._

_**"Hold on to me. Don't worry. You`re safe."**__, she said and the way she said it, allowed no doubt or question. And Maura believed._

_Before she could think another thought, a force slammed her against Janes body and the pressure was so strong, she had no chance to even move._

_She couldn`t see- anything. Streams of colour flew by, the noise was an overwhelming buzz in her ears and the wind was so strong in her face, that she had trouble breathing._

_She had no idea, what was happening. She couldn`t ask- she wasn`t able to open her mouth._

_It felt a little bit like a rollercoaster, but 100 times worse... or better- she couldn`t tell. She had no control of her body, no control over the situation._

_Her life was in Janes hands. Those delicate, fragile and pale hands. _

_It only lasted seconds._

_Before Maura could think about her lack of air, it just- stopped. _

_Within a blink of an eye, the wind stopped, she gasped for air, the noise died down, her eyes could see and she felt the heaviness of her body weighing on Janes arms._

_Maura looked up into her sharp featured face, that almost looked greek from this angle, and Jane flashed her a little smile, that almost looked proud._

_She sat her feet to the ground carefully, but didn`t stop to hold her, cause she knew, Maura would have trouble handling the gravity right now._

_And she had._

_Her knees were pure jelly and her body suddenly felt like it weighed tons. She stumbled and took a grip of Janes arms._

_**"Easy… take it slow..."**__, she smiled and couldn`t suppress a giggle._

_**"Wanna throw up?"**__ she asked bluntly- and it wasn`t a joke._

_Maura really considered it. She was as pale as a sheet._

_She swallowed. Her throat was too dry to answer. She just shook her head and tried to smile._

_**"Oh sorry, come on in..."**__, she answered quickly and led her through her front door._

_She settled her on her big fluffy couch and then disappeared._

_She returned with a glass of water and handed it to an obviously shaken Maura Isles._

_**"Here. Drink. All of it. Your body needs it now."**__, she said and helped Maura to hold the glass, cause her hands were still trembling hard._

_Maura did. Like she hadn`t been drinking for days. It felt like she was trying to water a desert inside of her._

_Jane got her more._

_After three glasses, she exhaled heavily and laid back exhausted._

_Jane observed her cautiously__._

_**"You okay?"**__, she asked gently._

_Maura blinked at her and took a few more breaths before she answered._

_"What... the hell?!", she managed to get out, her eyes bewildered._

_Jane burst out laughing._

_**"What?"**__, she pretended to look innocent. __**"I just ran."**__, she said. And smiled brightly._

_Finally Maura couldn`t help but join in the laughter, that she had missed for far too long now._

_As the laughter had died down, Maura didn`t know, where to start from._

_" So... I didn`t knew, that... 'they'...you… could do that...", she began carefully and watched Jane close her eyes and breathing slowly._

_She wasn`t sure, if she should go on- or just be silent._

_As if Jane had heard her, she said __**"Go on."**__._

_Maura swallowed. Did she actually read her mind- I mean, could she?_

_"Well... I mean... so, you wasn`t lying. You are... a-", __**"vampire."**__, Jane completed the question without opening her eyes._

_Maura paused to let it sink in._

_"Yeah. Vampire. I won`t even start with science, as everything I experienced today totally blew everything I thought, I knew. But, what does it mean? Is it all true? The stories? The garlic, the mirrors, the crosses... all that?"._

_Was it too much? Uh, she ruined it. She promised not to ask and now... uh, damn it._

_Jane opened her eyes. Her look was serious. Distant._

_**" I`m not sure, I really want you to know... all this. It`s NOT a story, it is the naked horrible truth. It`s NOT romantic. It`s NOT fascinating. It`s cold, lonely and violent. Cruel. It`s a curse, a doom. A nightmare that never ends."**__, she ended and let her head hang down in thought._

_Her voice was not more than a husky whisper. Her sadness overwhelming. _

_Maura swallowed hard._

_Should she just wait for her to go on? She couldn`t tell._

_**"You sure, you`re ready for that? The naked truth?"**__, she asked and looked up into Mauras- scared- eyes._

_She cleared her throat and shrugged kind of helplessly._

_"Give it a try.", she answered honestly._

_Jane gazed at her in silence for a few more moments._

_It looked like, she was considering, how much Maura could take._

_**"Okay. But you gotta know- you`re probably gonna hate me. You gonna wish, I was never born. You maybe even gonna wish, to never see me again... or to- kill me."**__._

_It sounded like she was going to choke on those words. Her voice was trembling._

_Maura didn`t wanted to believe, what Jane was saying, but she was scared of what would come._

_She tried to stay focused on breathing, but it was useless and who was she fooling? Jane could read her mind anyway._

_Then she began. She told her the whole story of Doyle ( well__,__ except of a certain very important detail), of her death, of the vampire who "saved" her and of her transformation._

_Maura was more than fascinated, she was ecstatic._

_"Oh my goodness, that sounds so unbelievable... what was it like for you, after you woke up as a vampire- how did it feel?", she couldn`t hold back her excitement._

_Jane just smiled tiredly at the joy in Mauras eyes. If she only knew, where this story was going to end..._

_**" It felt horrible. I was sick. My body ached. I just wanted to hide somewhere and... sleep. Recover. Or die. I don`t know. **_

_**But the world around me, wasn`t the world I knew anymore... **_

_**There were voices, I never heard before. I heard- everything. It´s hard for you to imagine. **_

_**I heard the traffic, but also what the drivers in the cars were saying AND thinking. **_

_**I heard the wind in the trees, every motion of the branches made a terrible noise in my ears. **_

_**And all the animals- they were SO LOUD. **_

_**The tiny footsteps of the rats- thousands of them, constantly. The sound, the wings of the birds made, when they were flying. The breathing of the cats. **_

_**The sound of the pipers under the pavement. EVERYTHING. **_

_**It was all the same volume to me- I wasn`t able to block it out. I thought, my head would explode. I was horrified.**_

_**And all the colours had changed. There were LOTS of new colours, you can`t even dream about... **_

_**Yes, we can see in the dark. But it`s not like you may imagine. It`s not like daylight to us. It`s still dark- you just can see in it. **_

_**The shapes, the shadows- it kinda... glows. It`s a 'dark light', you could say. **_

_**And it`s like... everything lives. Everything is in motion... even stones. Plants. The earth breathes. She is alive and you are a part of it and this awareness hits you like a hammer... it made me over the moon and soooo sad at the same time. You have no idea. **_

_**And the emotions. All the feelings. I felt EVERYTHING. The moods of the people. **_

_**I didn`t know, who I was- what MY feelings were anymore... I was so full of everything and completely empty at the same time. **_

_**You can`t stay sane, when you`re going through this..."**__, she ended._

_Maura had sat there- her eyes wide open, her jaw had dropped, she was barely breathing. _

_It sounded so much like a movie and yet the thought of it being real... was fascinating and scary at the same time._

_Jane breathed. She seemed to search for words._

_**" I had no idea what to do. Where to go. I heard the sirens of the police and I got scared. They knew me, but I wasn`t the same anymore.**_

_**I didn`t know why, but I ran away. And as I started running... you know... what you just saw- was happening. It took me a while to understand what exactly was happening in those moments. To understand, that people couldn`t see me, cause I was too fast for their eyes... So I knew- I was fast. **_

_**I started to explore my new... skills. I realized, I was strong, like... VERY. And I can jump. Up trees... even houses. And climb. **_

_**And before you ask... I can`t fly... But when I run and then jump through the tree tops, so fast you wouldn`t even notice me, it often feels like flying."**__, she now almost smiled a little._

_Maura did too._

_"That sounds incredible...", she whispered._

_Jane smiled sadly and nodded._

_**"Until you find out, you gotta eat..."**__, she added and let her head hang down- in shame?- again._

_Maura hold her breath._

_**"I wouldn`t let myself believe, what I already knew. I tried all my favourite food. And I puked my soul out. I got cramps. But I refused to think of... blood.**_

_**I starved. I didn`t know, how to even approach a human being... to... kill them."**__, she whispered._

_Maura reached out and squeezed her hand gently__._

_They both paused at the contact. Their eyes met._

_Love. Still. But that would change. _

_Just a few minutes more, and Mauras gaze would turn into horror and disgust._

_Jane sighed sadly and squeezed Mauras hand back... maybe for the last time ever._


	11. Chapter 11

_Hey people, guess what- I finished the story today *Hurray* :D That means I can update daily now ;) It has 18 Chapters__._

_So, let's go on! Let me know, what you think and thanks for your lovely support- you are the sweetest :*_

_**Chapter 11.**_

_**"I started with rats. Rabbits. Cats... the bigger the animal, the more energy... the stronger I felt. I hated it. It was hard to find out the rules, you know. **_

_**That it only works, if the animal- or the human- is still alive OR at least died just seconds ago, so the blood is still warm and in motion. **_

_**Dead blood is like poison. And it tastes like crap."**__, she let out a short chuckle and went on._

_**"I had to find out, how to approach the animals, how to grab them and take a hold of them, so they couldn`t move, while I was drinking... **_

_**Uh, gosh, this must sound so horrible for you... I know it is... but that`s my life.**_

_**I refused to drink from humans for quite a long time... until I made a decision. **_

_**The decision to LIVE... as far as you can call it that way under these circumstances. **_

_**I had built up so much anger for the man who had killed me, that I decided, that he had to die, before I could at least TRY to find something 'good' in my new life."**__. She looked at Maura._

_No fear. No disgust. Patience. Curiosity. Excitement. Love. Still. Damn._

_Jane swallowed hard and closed her eyes again._

_**"Now... this is the point, where you will find out the truth." **_

_She exhaled a shaky breath and her fists were so tight, that her finger knuckles turned white._

_"You can`t say anything, to make me hate you. That was all long ago. I know who you are now. You will never change in my eyes.", Maura reassured her firmly and tried to meet Janes eyes, but she hold them shut. _

_A single tear ran down her cheek. Maura wished, she could do something to make her believe..._

_**" He was in his garage. I overflew with joy. Joy to finally get the chance to kill him. Really. **_

_**And I did. Quickly. **_

_**It felt indescribable. It felt like being born again.**_

_**But then I heard the sound of that tiny shaking breath..."**__, Jane paused and looked Maura straight in the eyes._

_Something inside of her twisted. Something was wrong. She couldn`t nail it._

_**"I figured, there was somebody there. Hiding. Waiting... for her daddy to seek her..."**__._

_A flash before her eyes. The sight through the little gap... the smell of fuel, metal and grease. The blood. All the blood._

_Maura stopped breathing._

_**"So I opened the door…- and there you were."**__._

_"No...", she breathed._

_She shook her head in disbelief._

_She let go of Janes hand and she let her. She knew this would happen._

_"No. No...". _

_Jane could see her brain working. All the puzzle pieces shifted into place__.__ The picture completed itself._

_Paddy Doyle was her father. Her father had killed Jane. He was a murderer. Jane had killed her father. Changed her life forever. Murderer._

_The thoughts melted into a hot blurry mess. _

_Murder..._

_She fell into black._

_**I knew this would happen.**_

_**I knew this would be the last moments, I would share with her.**_

_**She would wake up soon and she would leave.**_

_**She would take all her light and warmth and her heavenly scent away with her.**_

_**And I would lock myself up in here and never leave again.**_

_**I would stop eating. I would fade.**_

_**But I would not die. Cause I can`t.**_

_**I would just lay here, not able to move. **_

_**Just exist. **_

_**Live in the memory of her face, her touch, her voice.**_

_**I couldn't stop touching her face. I stroke her cheek constantly. **_

_**I loved her so much, it killed me... if only!**_

_**I tried to save every detail of her face in my mind forever.**_

_**If I could paint her- I would. She looked like an angel.**_

_**She blinked.**_

_**I froze immediately**__**.**_

_**I was scared to death.**_

_**Would she hit me? Yell at me?**_

_**I could take anything, but the cold in her eyes... or fear... or disgust. Hate.**_

_**I felt like crying.**_

_**I`ve never been so afraid in my whole life. And death.**_

_**I didn`t dare to touch her.**_

_"Hmm... Jane...?"__**, she whispered shortly.**_

_**"Yes. I`m here.", I swallowed, but that lump wouldn`t go away.**_

_"Jane... " __**, she breathed softly, **__"..why … haven`t you taken me with you.. like I asked you to?"._

_**I stared at her, as if she had lost her mind.**_

_**"Wh... what?!", I shot back unbelieving.**_

_**She met my eyes.**_

_"When you found me there... Why did you left me there? I asked you to take me with you... Why did you left me?" she asked seriously, her voice a little hoarse._

_**I wondered if she was actually awake...? Was she dreaming?**_

_**"What do you mean- take you with me? I had just killed your father. I took your father. I destroyed your life. You didn`t knew it back then, but you would have found out sooner or later... and you would have hated me.", I explained, not sure, why I even had to explain it.**_

_"My father was a murderer, Jane. He had killed you. And many, many more__**.", she paused and took a breath.**_

_"He destroyed the lives of so many people. The grief, he brought to all those families... YOUR family... _

_I understand why you had to do it, Jane...",__** she looked at me while I was staring at her in shock.**_

_"What kind of life would that have been? With him as my father? A killer?! You didn`t destroy my life, Jane, you probably saved me__**.", she closed and looked at me with soft and understanding eyes.**_

_**I just couldn`t wrap my mind around it. What did she just say?**_

_**Did she forgive me? Like... REALLY?**_

_**"You... uhm... you don`t- hate me?", I managed to get out, still staring at her in disbelieve.**_

_**I thought my throat was too tight to even breathe.**_

_"I told you. Don`t you trust me, Jane?"__**, she whispered and grabbed my shaking hand again.**_

_**She placed a hot kiss on the palm of my hand and then I kind of broke down. I couldn`t hold it back any longer.**_

_**I sank to the ground. Crying. Soundless. But my whole body was convulsing. It hurt.**_

_**She came around the couch and knelt down beside me.**_

_**I felt her warm arms surrounding me, rocking me gently and it made me cry even harder.**_

_**I felt silly. But I just couldn`t stop.**_

_**I cried like a little kid.**_

_**I cried all the tears I had kept in over all those years.**_

_**The fear, the shame, the anger, the loneliness... All the pain... so much pain.**_

_**Maura didn`t say a word. She just knew.**_

_**She held me for almost an hour. Until no tears were left to cry. I was dry. I was tired. And she was there.**_

_**She stroke the wet hair out of my eyes, she dried my face, she smiled at me as I finally took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders.**_

_"Better?"__**, she asked softly and it almost made me want to cry again. But I resisted. Instead I tried a smile.**_

_**"Thank you.", I whispered and I panicked at the thought of getting up from the ground, cause that meant, that she had to let go of me.**_

_**And she did.**_

_**For a moment I thought, I couldn`t stand the cold that followed.**_

_**I shivered. All I could think of, was how badly I wanted to wrap myself around her and stay this way forever.**_

_**It was already dark outside and Maura looked exhaust and tired.**_

_**"It`s late. I could take you home, if you want me too..." , I offered quietly and I didn`t dare to look at her.**_

_**If I did, I wouldn`t let her go at all.**_

_"You mean, you would carry me, like before?"__**, she chuckled wryly,**__ "Well, thanks for the offer, but I better get a cap."__**, she smiled.**_

_**I cleared my throat. My eyes wandered over to my big cosy bed.**_

_**"Or- you could... I mean..", I stumbled, **__"Stay over?"__**, she asked quickly, her voice a little high pitched.**_

_**I nodded, looking at her in question**__**.**_

_**She just stared at me. My head was spinning.**_

_**"Or- not. I mean... you don`t have to. I do totally understand, if you don`t wanna stay here... with me.", I added honestly and my heart couldn`t stand the silence that followed.**_

_**I stared at my feet.**_

_"No. Yes. I... I just... do you sleep anyway? At night, I mean? Don`t you have to... eat?"__**, she asked hesitantly.**_

_**Oh gosh, I always forgot, how weird this situation was. She might even think, I was sleeping in a coffin**__**.**_

_**"Come here.", I hold out my hand. She took it and I led her to my bedroom.**_

_**I nodded at the huge dark wooden bed and winked,**__**"Just in case you thought, you would have to sleep on the cemetery...".**_

_**Maura burst into a giggle and my heart jumped from joy to hear that sound again.**_

_"Oh my... I`m so sorry, but I won`t deny, that thought crossed my mind. I feel so silly right now!"__**, and she buried her cute blushing face into her wonderful hands.**_

_**I couldn`t help but laugh at the situation. And it felt good.**_

_**"Okay, let me get this straight. I do sleep. Even if I think, I wouldn`t have to. But I guess that`s just one of those old human habits, you don`t get rid of.**_

_**I don`t have to sleep by day, nor do I die from sunlight. I guess the myth came up, cause for me- as a vampire- the day is a bit more than I can take... you know, the noises, the smells, the bright lights and colours. And... I don`t belong into their world anymore. Things they talk about, don`t matter to me anymore. **_

_**The night is like a shelter for me... it`s peaceful and quiet. And it`s easier to hide and... to haunt... if I have to.", I told her openly and I tried not to read her mind.**_

_**I shouldn`t do that, right? It didn`t seemed appropriate, since she was aimless to that kind of "magic".**_

_"Oh, that makes sense to me. I would hide in the dark all the time, if I only could."__**, she laughed a heartfelt laugh and shook her head.**_

_**"I could order you dinner. Whatever you want. I`m not hungry, you know... I`m still a little full of Henry Jenkins.", it just bubbled out.**_

_**I froze immediately, but instantly, Maura squeaked out laughing,**__ "Eeeeww, Jane, that is so... don`t you say that! Eeew!"__**, and my stomach ached from laughing hysterically at her expression.**_


	12. Chapter 12

_Hey y'all! Here we go again- here is another cute little chapter of fluff, before you'll get some action in the next ;) Enjoy the read and thanks for your sweet messages. Love you all _

_**CHAPTER 12**__**.**_

_Staying over was much more exciting than she would have expected in the first place._

_Teenagers do it all the time, right? Not a big deal. Well, at least it shouldn`t be._

_She hadn`t thought about who Jane was. What Jane was._

_She hadn`t thought about who SHE was- that she never had slumber parties in her life… That she was used to being alone._

_She hadn`t thought about the fact that she had feelings for Jane. Feelings she couldn`t even begin to understand. Feelings, she never had before._

_What was she thinking, when she agreed to stay over so light hearted? Obviously, she hadn`t thought at all._

_Jane was gone._

_She went out to grab some dinner for Maura. Considering the speed of her "running", she would be back in a couple of minutes._

_Maura wandered round the house, her thoughts racing round in her head so loud and so fast, it made her dizzy._

_She couldn`t believe, what had been happening in the last 24 hours. She knew, she wasn`t dreaming, but it sure felt like it._

_Jane had told her, everything she wanted to know and still she was full of questions, she couldn`t even express._

_How did she live her everyday life? Had she really spend more than 30 years all by herself?_

_She stopped by the bedroom and her eyes rested on the big dark and cosy bed. _

_The thought of sleeping in it tonight- her bed, her smell- let her heartbeat speed up a little._

_Would they sleep in it together?! Her eyes went wide. HOLY CRAP. She hadn`t even thought about that._

_Great. If that was the case, she was sure, she wouldn`t sleep at all._

_Not that she was afraid. No. But sleeping next to Jane... come on- who could sleep next to JANE?!_

_Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a soft knock on the front door__._

_Maura swirled around._

_Who was that? Who would knock on Janes door?_

_Had anyone seen, that Jane had left and was now trying to get in? But why?_

_It knocked again. __**"Maura?"**__. _

_It was Jane! What the hell?!_

_Maura sped to open up._

_Jane stood in the doorway, tall, dark, her hair a wild mess from running, her smile shy but bright as the sun and her hands full of bags. _

_"Why do you knock on your own door? I thought someone was coming for me, or... or..."._

_Jane looked at her blankly. "__**Uhm... I just thought, it was polite not to burst in here like a hurricane. I didn`t meant to scare you- and now I did. Ah, crap. I`m sorry." **__she said and let out a bemused chuckle. _

_Maura, who felt pretty silly now, joined in and took some of the bags out of Janes hands._

_She inspected them curiously, while she headed into the kitchen and found it all to be different kinds of food._

_She stopped in motion and turned around to Jane who looked back at her in question. __**"Uh... what?"**__, she asked obviously clueless._

_"Is this ALL food? I mean, in all of those bags?"._

_Jane looked guilty. __**"Yes mam."**_

_Mauras jaw dropped. _

_"Who is supposed to eat that? Are there any more guests invited? I mean... that`s... a lot!"_

_Jane smirked like a kid, who just got caught in the act._

_She was adorable. Ah, hell..._

_**"I know. It´s all for you. I went to five different places- all different styles, cause I wasn`t sure, what you would like. We have Japanese- Sushi and stuff, we have Italian- Pasta and Pizza, we have Greek and Thai aaaand this... are burgers from the US."**__, she closed and smiled from one ear to another._

_Maura shook her head in disbelieve but she couldn't help but giggle at Janes face, who looked like a child on Christmas day._

_"That`s... really thoughtful of you, Jane. You`re so kind. But I don`t think, I eat that much in one week..."_

_**"That`s okay- just eat as much as you like and I will freeze the rest, so you can eat it, next time you`re... I mean... IF- you`re staying over again. Some time. Maybe. If you want." **__, Jane fumbled at her sleeve, trying to avoid Mauras eyes._

_Mauras heart had just exploded in her chest- or, at least, that`s what it felt like._

_She felt all warm and fuzzy inside and she wished, she could just wrap that feeling around her shoulders like a sheltering blanket._

_"Well, in that case... thank you so much! I don`t even know, where to start!", she laughed as she unpacked the bags and settled herself on the dinner table._

_She tried to push away the question, why Jane had a dinner table at all. _

_Ridiculous pictures of human body parts on plates popped up in her mind and she suppressed a wicked giggle._

_Jane sat opposite of her, joining her, while she was eating. _

_Maura felt awkward._

_"Don`t you wanna do something, while I finish eating... I mean... you surely don`t wanna watch me eat. Isn`t that- disgusting- for you... in a way... maybe?", Maura asked honestly._

_Jane was watching her closely while Maura took one bite after the other. Her expression was dreamy._

_**"What? No. No... I love it. Tell me what it tastes like..."**__, she said without taking her eyes off Mauras mouth._

_Maura frowned for a moment. Then a hint of understanding flickered in her eyes._

_"Oh... okay... well, the noodles are al dente- they`re really good, not every restaurant does it this good, actually- and the pesto is mild but spicy, the herbals taste fresh and intensive- just right, if you ask me... and... I don`t know, how to describe it any better...", she chuckled._

_Jane joined in and let out a dreamy sigh._

_**"Perfect. Now try something else... What does this taste like?"**__, she asked while pointing at the Sushi and Maura understood. She picked up a piece and described the taste as good as she could._

_Jane hang on her lips. _

_They continued until Maura had tried a bit of everything and until she felt like her skirt would burst into pieces, cause she was so full of everything._

_She sat back in her chair und put her hands up, "I surrender. If I`m gonna eat just one more bite, I`m gonna explode in the middle of your kitchen and you wouldn`t want that, would you?", she asked, trying to breathe without opening the bottom of her skirt._

_Jane pouted. __**"Okay... if you say so. Uh, when you describe it, I can almost taste it on my tongue... I would cut off my leg, just for one slice of oily, salty pepperoni pizza...!"**__, she whined and even if she tried to be funny, Maura felt the truth behind her acting._

_She smiled sadly at Jane. "So, what does blood taste like?", she asked suddenly and her courage took Jane aback for a second._

_**"You know what blood tastes like."**__ she answered coldly and her gaze dropped on the table._

_"Yes, I know, but what does it taste like FOR YOU?", she added calmly and Jane looked up at the softness of her voice._

_She took a few moments until she answered honestly,__** "It´s delicious. It tastes like everything I can dream of, you know... It tastes like life. It`s warm and sweet and spicy and salty and just... everything I could dream of, really. **__**I guess, that`s part of the secret, otherwise I would go crazy. But even though it`s still delicious after all of these years, it`s just not the same as good old simple food... I can remember what things taste like, you know... fried chicken and even coke or beer... and I just miss it like hell... Sounds silly, huh?"**__._

_Maura reached for her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "No. Not at all.", she simply said and Jane feared, she would fell into her eyes._

_**She looked so tired- I knew she needed sleep, but something inside me just couldn`t let her go.**_

_**I wanted to talk to her. More. All night, if I could.**_

_**I wanted to watch her. How her face changed, while she was speaking, how she laughed and crinkled her nose, how she moved her hands while she was talking...**_

_**I was just afraid, that I would miss her so much, it would actually hurt the moment she would close her eyes.**_

_**Oh come on, Rizzoli, don`t be such a girl! You can do this!**_

_**"Okay then... time to sleep, young lady.", I said seriously, but I couldn`t suppress a stupid grin as I saw her pouting at me like a five year old.**_

_**I headed for the bedroom and pulled my best pyjama out of the back of my closet. Just the best for her, of course.**_

_**I was used to sleeping in old, oversized T-shirts, but I guess you couldn`t offer that to a lady, could you?**_

_**"Here. Put these on- second door on the left is the bathroom. Oh wait!", I jumped around the corner to get her the toothbrush I had bought, when I was out for the food.**_

_**"There you go. I guessed, you wouldn`t want to share with me.", I added as I handed it to her.**_

_**She beamed. Oh... No one on earth would smile over a simple toothbrush like that.**_

_**My stomach did something funny every time she smiled like that. And every time she looked at me. And every time she touched me.**_

_**It felt like my guts would just swirl around and turn upside down. And it kinda hurt, but in a good way... I guess.**_

_"I can`t believe, you thought of that! Thank you!"__**, and she stroke my arm, just for a second, before she disappeared into the bathroom.**_

_**I shivered.**_

_**It took her forever to get out of there again. I had changed in the second bath and now I was running up and down the living room, like a tiger in the cage.**_

_**Had I thought of everything? What did humans need for the night?**_

_**Bed- check. Pillows, blankets- check. A bottle of water and a glass- check. Me to hold her warm- sigh...**_

_**The door closed quietly and soft footsteps made its way up to me.**_

_**I tried to seem relaxed and cool and busy. HA! Not really.**_

_**She appeared in the doorway- like an angel. **_

_**My PJ`s were far too big for her, so her hands and feet were lost somewhere in there and oh my gosh, she looked so tiny and fragile like a porcelain doll.**_

_**Her face without make up looked so much younger and so damn vulnerable, that I wanted to put her behind glass, where nobody could ever hurt or even touch her. **_

_**She was MY doll- just so you know. I didn`t think, she would like me to call her that, but luckily she couldn`t read MY mind.**_

_**I was staring and I knew it, but I couldn`t change it.**_

_**I opened my mouth and nothing came out, so I shut it again.**_

_**She started an embarrassed giggle and tried to roll up the far too long sleeves.**_

_**"You`ll fit in there, once you grow up, you know.", I managed to joke and she just kept on giggling and I loved it.**_

_**"You wanna wear one of my shirts instead? They would easily reach to your knuckles, I guess.", I added with an ironic grin and she slapped my shoulder as she passed me on her way to the bed.**_

_"Hey, it may be a small body, but with a great mind in it!"__**, she acknowledged me laughing and I had nothing more to say than, "I would never doubt that.".**_

_**She hopped onto the bed with her tiny naked feet and I wished, I could freeze that moment and frame this picture forever.**_

_**I had to focus hard, not to stand there with my jaw dropped, staring stupidly.**_

_"Oh wow, this is really comfortable!"__**, she let herself sink into the blankets.**_

_"Uh, it feels like lying on a cloud..."__**, her muffled voice came from somewhere lost in the pillows.**_

_**I grinned like a dumbass.**_

_**"Yeah, I know. That`s how I capture the beautiful virgins in here... you know, once they snuggle up into my bed, they never wanna leave again.", I stated seriously, but I heard her giggle continue.**_

_"If that`s the case, where are all those women then?"__**, she asked playfully as her head popped up from under the pillows.**_

_**I lifted one eyebrow, as if she had to know the answer, then I told her frankly, "I ate them up, of course.", and her expression was remarkable.**_

_"Oh... eew... JANE!"__**, and she burst into laughter.**_

_**I watched her for quite a few seconds and inhaled that image into my mind, until it hit me on the head. I loved her.**_

_**It hit me so hard, that it almost slipped out of my mouth.**_

_**I jumped a little by the thought and refused the urge to press a hand on my lips.**_

_**Her laughter had died down, as she realized that I wasn`t laughing.**_

_"Uhm... you`re okay?"__**, she asked, still smiling.**_

_**No. I love you. **_

_**"What? Yes. Yeah, I`m good." and I forced a smile.**_

_**"So, you`ve got anything you need for tonight?".**_

_**Maura went serious, looking around, then looking back at me.**_

_"I guess so, yes."__**, she answered simply.**_

_**"Okay then. I wish you sweet dreams, sleep well and if you need anything, just ring the bell and I`ll come running." and I winked at her.**_

_"Wait, where are you going?"__** she asked and I thought, she looked a little bit disappointed, but I guess it was just wishful thinking.**_

_**"Oh, I`ll stay on the couch... I`m a sleep fighter, you know. I wouldn`t want to kick you outta bed accidently. I`m just around the corner, so you`ll be safe.", I explained. Of course I lied.**_

_**I just didn`t know how to ever find a minute of sleep next to her. **_

_**Her smell was just soooo damn overwhelming, I was afraid I might not be able to control myself when I was tired... and lonely... and ...**_

_**Anyway. She nodded with a fake smile and I did the same.**_

_**"Night, Maura.", I said quietly.**_

_"Good night, Jane."__**, I heard as I left the room and took a deep breath to ease my mind.**_

_**Of course I wasn`t able to sleep anyway.**_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey babes, next one ;) A little bit action, even if it's not quite what we all want, but hey- it is SOMETHING for a start, right :P Hope you like it! Tell me! Oxoxo_

_**Chapter 13**_

_Maura was wide awake._

_Her hazel eyes checked the clock every two minutes._

_She tried counting sheep, but every time she started, an image of Jane slipped into her mind and there she was again- HEEEY MACCARENA!_

_When she closed her eyes, she could smell a hint of Janes scent on the pillows and every time she inhaled it deeply, her stomach twisted madly._

_She felt a hot burning deep inside and a pulse building up between her legs._

_Oh no. Not now. Not. here._

_She turned around, trying to find a comfortable position to go to sleep._

_But the heat in her lower belly just wouldn`t subside._

_Her thoughts went traveling. _

_Jane was just around the corner. Sleeping, eventually._

_Pictures popped up in her mind, uncontrollably. _

_Jane lying on that big brown couch in her oversized sleeping shirt, with her long naked legs... her long long legs..._

_Her wild hair probably spread out on the pillow, her neck exposed._

_Where the hell did this come from?_

_She never had fantasies like that! Ever._

_But her heart sped up by the thought of Janes skin, how she smelled... how it would feel to touch her..._

_Mauras hand wandered slowly down her belly- she was too tired to fight it._

_She imagined herself entering the living room, where Jane laid sleeping. Fantasized about gently touching her exposed leg, striking up slowly..._

_Bending down carefully, reaching her soft pale neck with her craving lips... tasting her hot skin on the tip of her tongue..._

_Maura reached into her pants to touch herself with trembling hands._

_To her surprise she was as wet as she couldn`t even remember she ever was before. Not with any men. Not with herself._

_She suppressed a moan, as she dipped into hot flesh..._

_**I opened my eyes.**_

_**Something was weird.**_

_**I sat up, glancing around the room confused.**_

_**A shiver ran down my spine.**_

_**My eyes automatically rested on the door, where Maura was sleeping, just around the corner.**_

_**Something strange happened inside of my stomach, when I realized, that I was feeling- Maura.**_

_**I had almost forgotten the connection we had, when we weren`t together.**_

_**Was she okay?**_

_**I tried to reach a little bit deeper, hoping to feel what she felt.**_

_**... WHAT THE- uh!**_

_**It just took a second to understand, what was going on.**_

_**Oh no, Maura, please... don`t.**_

_**I pressed my eyes shut, trying to breath calmly... I struggled.**_

_**I felt her fingers as if they were my own.**_

_**A hot flood shot between my legs.**_

_**Oh holy hell...**_

_**I sank back on the couch, trying desperately to block her out.**_

_**How could I? She was so damn loud in my mind. **_

_**I saw the pictures she saw- of me. Of US.**_

_**My heart hammered against my chest so hard it almost hurt- I could hear it pounding in my ears.**_

_**I had no chance refusing to end what she had started.**_

_**I touched myself for the first time in ages, cause until today, I had feared it would make me crave the touch of someone else way too badly.**_

_**I had killed those feelings the day my life was taken away.**_

_**As I slightly spread my legs, a shaky breath escaped my lips.**_

_**Maura.**_

_**Never before I had considered that having such a strong connection with her meant, that I would feel HER lust doubled by my own...**_

_**I thought I`d burst into pieces.**_

_**But did that mean, she could feel me too? She wouldn`t know it of course, but still...**_

_**I slowly slid two fingers inside myself and my eyes wandered over to the wall.**_

_**I heard her move.**_

_**Oh gosh.**_

_**The pressure increased so quickly by the thought, that she could feel me- that I touched HER, when I touched myself- that I had trouble to make no sound.**_

_**I found a fast rhythm and I knew I would come apart within seconds, when I heard the soft rustling of her blankets again.**_

_**She was coming. I heard her moaning my name in my mind.**_

_**I broke apart with her face in front of my eyes as I came. **_

_**My breathing was uncontrollable and as I gasped, I just hoped she wouldn`t hear me, cause she was too busy with herself.**_

_Covered in sweat she tried to steady her breathing._

_Her hands and feet were numb from inhaling way too fast. Too much oxygen in her system._

_She couldn`t believe what had just happened._

_This was so intense, it almost felt real._

_She ran a shaking hand through her moist hair and she realized, she kind of felt ashamed by herself._

_How could she let herself go in the house of someone else, with this someone just a few steps away?_

_What did this woman do to her?_

_She sat up carefully and drank a whole glass of water._

_It helped her to cool down at least a little bit, but she didn`t felt comfortable falling asleep as sweaty as she was right now._

_She tried to walk over to the bathroom soundlessly and she thought, she did a good job, but when she risked a quick glance over to where Jane was supposed to be sleeping, a pair of black eyes was staring back at her, shimmering in the dark._

_Maura jumped at the unexpected sight, then blushed immediately, which she hoped, Jane wouldn`t notice given the bad lightning._

_"Oh! You`re awake?", she half whispered and she realized that her voice was trembling._

_**"Yes."**__, she answered shortly without taking her eyes off Maura._

_Maura felt caught and guilty and endlessly ashamed under Janes piercing eyes._

_"I... I just need to go to the bathroom before I try to go back to sleep.", she stammered and forced a smile._

_**"Yeah. It`s kinda hot tonight."**__, Jane stated quietly and Maura just wanted to drop dead right about now._

_"Uhm... yes, now that you mention it... it actually is. Uh... well, good night, Jane." ,and she fled into the bathroom where she let the cold water run over her wrists until she was calm enough, to really wash herself._

_She never wanted to leave that room again._

_She couldn`t stand Janes fiery eyes one more time._

_As she carefully opened the old wooden door, her heart jumped a little as she saw Jane fast asleep on the couch. THANK GOD, even if she didn`t believed in any._

_After she took one last glance at this woman, who had totally messed up her head, she slit under the snuggly blankets again and finally she actually managed to fall asleep._

_While on the other side of the wall, black eyes were open wide._


	14. Chapter 14

_Hello babies, so… here we go again. I'd say this is the last chapter to take a deep breath before the "showdown" begins ;) So, I hope you like it and you'll stay tuned :D Thanks for every review and message you send- I just love it 3_

_**Chapter 14**_

_**It must have been hours, since she went to sleep. I didn`t.**_

_**My mind was wrapped around the moment of being one with Maura- even if we didn`t touch each other at all.**_

_**But it felt like we had crossed some invisible borderline and I knew, it wasn`t right.**_

_**I wished it was right though...**_

_**It felt right. It felt AMAZING. It felt like, this was always meant to be. Destiny.**_

_**Well, it would be, if I was human. If Maura and I could be together. If I wasn`t a monster. But I was.**_

_**I closed my eyes firmly and tried to clear my mind.**_

_**HOW COULD I?! Her smell was everywhere!**_

_**She was so intoxicating.**_

_**I shook my head as to shook this feelings off me. I had to get rid of her.**_

_**She wouldn`t leave me alone and I knew it, so I had to make her leave. For her sake. To save her.**_

_**A life with me was not a life at all. She deserved to find someone, who could give her, what she deserved.**_

_**Love, kids, a family... a real, normal, happy life.**_

_**Even though I knew, no one else could ever love her, like I did. **_

_**And I had no clue, how to even exist, when I knew, someone else was with her. Looking at her. Touching her. Loving her.**_

_**The thought made me wanna go out and kill aimlessly.**_

_**I felt a deadly cold flame burning deep inside of me, destroying all the light and warmth she had lit in me.**_

_**I had to end this. As soon as she would awake, I would end it. I had to.**_

_When Maura opened her eyes against the bright sunlight, she didn`t know, where she was._

_She blinked into the bright light and tried to think straight._

_Jane._

_Her head ached. The pictures of last night came back to her and an immediate blush flushed over her face._

_She checked her watch- 10:30am. What the hell?_

_Usually she woke up at 6:00am every. damn. morning._

_She hurried out of bed and headed out the door to find Jane._

_The living room was empty, everything was tidy and clean._

_No sound. _

_Jane was gone._

_A bad feeling crawled up her spine. This wasn`t good._

_She glanced around and found a piece of paper on the kitchen table, next to a delicious smelling breakfast- just for her._

_She smiled dreamy at herself, as she picked up the note._

_**"Maura,**_

_**I hope you slept well and you like the little breakfast I made for you. It`s all yours. Take as much time as you want, shower, if you like.**_

_**I have things to take care of and I won`t be back until tonight. Just shut the front door when you leave.**_

_**Jane."**_

_Maura stared at the paper for minutes. Her heart raced. _

_This was not good. Something was up._

_A big heavy lump built in her throat____and made her feel like she couldn`t breathe._

_Her chest ached. _

_She told herself to calm down, not to overreact, breathe. Breathe._

_As she stood in the shower, the hot water running down her back, she considered to wait for Jane to come back._

_Wouldn`t that be rude? No, she couldn`t do that..._

_She had to leave... no other options..._

_But she could, at least, leave a note._

_"Dear Jane,_

_thanks for your hospitality. Your breakfast was great, thanks so much for that, too. I hope to hear from you soon."._

_She scribbled her number and added a smiley face to it._

_But she didn`t feel like smiling at all._

_Now, all she could do was waiting._

_Day one._

_She checked her phone every ten minutes._

_The silence screamed at her._

_She tried to focus on work, but as there were currently no new cases around, all she had to do was paperwork._

_The sentences made no sense, letters danced in front of her eyes and all she could read was J.A.N.E._

_When she got home, she was venting on Bass, who was a patient listener... but she really wished, he could answer and tell her, to calm down, god damn it._

_Sleeping wasn`t easy that night._

_Day two._

_Maura wondered, if Jane had a phone at all__._

_Why should she? For what? Or whom?_

_But Jane knew where she lived, she could be here in one second, no matter where she was- so no excuses._

_Detective Frost noticed, that Maura acted weird. She seemed sad._

_He invited her out for a glass of wine and she accepted._

_Who would have guessed? It was a wonderful evening._

_Barry was a real gentleman- he didn`t hit on her or asked inappropriate questions, he was smart and funny and very generous._

_She was grateful._

_Falling asleep was much easier today, thanks to the wine._

_Day three._

_Maura felt awful. She had had too much wine._

_Her mouth tasted as if a squirrel had died in there._

_She checked her phone. Nothing._

_She sighed. She knew it._

_The moment she woke up and Jane was gone, she knew, this wasn`t good. And she was right._

_What could she do? Driving to her house, asking her, why she didn`t call?_

_That would be silly. Too needy. No._

_Finally a new corpse came in and Maura was delighted to get her mind of that damn phone._

_As she was just cutting a piece of its liver, as her phone buzzed._

_The scalpel almost went flying as she tried to get rid of her gloves as fast as possible._

_The caller was unknown. Her heart raced._

_"Dr. Isles."_

_Silence._

_"Hello?", Maura asked._

_No answer. _

_Maura inhaled deeply. "Jane?", she breathed._

_A click. Someone hung up on her._

_She stared at her phone. Her hand was shaking and her cheeks were on fire._

_Was it her? Why didn`t she say anything?!_

_Maura was torn between anger, disappointment, sadness and the deep deep wanting of Janes presence in her life. Now._

_**I felt like an asshole. **_

_**Watching her checking her phone a thousand times a day- yes, I did watch her- made me feel like a coward through and through.**_

_**She deserved so much better... but look, what I had done. Well done, Rizzoli!**_

_**A part of me tried to believe, that she would forget me, the longer she didn`t hear from me... but deep inside I knew, it was bullshit.**_

_**I knew, how she felt for me. She would not just shrug and move on. Not my Maura.**_

_**It took more than I could bear to stay away from her.**_

_**Sometimes when I watched her, hidden somewhere in a dark corner, a part of me wanted her to see me.**_

_**But I challenged myself to stay strong. For her sake.**_

_**The days that usually just flew by, seemed to last forever, all of a sudden.**_

_**I wasn`t hungry, even though I knew, I had to eat. **_

_**There were dark circles around my eyes, which was a bad sign.**_

_**How could I eat, when all my body craved for**__**,**__** was her...?**_

_**All I could think of, was her hands... and how it felt, when she was touching me... herself- both of us. Whatever.**_

_**I shook my head- what had she done to me?**_

_**She was like poison to my heart.**_

_**Every evening I circled my prepaid phone, considering whether to call her or not.**_

_**OF COURSE NOT! Stupid!**_

_**But I WANTED to. So damn much.**_

_Day 8._

_She couldn`t believe, she was still functioning._

_She got up every morning, she ate, she drank, she went to work and smiled politely and she went home to Bass. _

_And she cried. A lot._

_How could she do this to her? Why? _

_She couldn`t believe, all this had meant nothing to Jane... she was the first person to know her secret, right?_

_How could she ignore that? Was she afraid? Of what?_

_A thousand questions bubbled up in her head, but all the answers were missing._

_Maura was tired. All the time._

_She even took naps in the afternoon._

_She supposed, this was a sign of a beginning depression, but she couldn`t care less._

_Sleeping was the best thing in the world._

_A buzz woke her from sleep and at first, she wasn`t sure if it was day or night..._

_She glanced around- it was still dark outside. She checked the clock- 3:05__._

_What the...?_

_She picked up the phone. "Isles?", she mumbled sleepy, rubbing her face with one hand._

_Silence._

_Maura was wide awake within a second._

_She sat up straight. "Hello?"._

_There was breathing at the end of the line._

_Maura closed her eyes. "Who`s there?", she asked and her voice was trembling._

_There! She could hear the breathing again!_

_**"I miss you."**__, Janes raspy voice stated quietly._

_Mauras eyes widened. She forgot to breathe._

_**"You know what I miss most about you?"**__, Mauras brain was blank._

_**"Your face... Cause every time I see that face, I forget who I am and what I do and where I came from… I forget what my life will look like in the future, I forget that I`m alone. I forget- anything else.**_

_**And I look at you and there is warmth in me, like fire and it fills me up like- completely.**__**..**__** I am so full of you.**_

_**And I can`t think, and I can`t eat and I can`t do anything besides... breathing... and missing you."**__, she closed and Maura heard her exhale audibly._

_Say something, Maura!, she pushed herself. _

_Her brain was a giant black hole right now._

_She was shaking so hard, that her back started to ache__._

_She cleared her throat._

_**"And I know, what you`re thinking- why is she bothering me with this shit at three in the morning, but... I am starving and I am dizzy and damn, I just miss you SO. MUCH. I feel drunk. So this is my excuse.**_

_**I just wanted to hear your voice, so that maybe I can go to sleep some time, but you are not talking... why would you, after I let you down for almost ten days? I`m so sorry, Maura, I really am. But you have no idea, what my life is like and all I want... all I really want is you to be as far away from that, as possible. You should run from me, you really should. Far far away..."**__, Maura heard Jane breathing heavily__._

_Finally she found her voice, "Jane...", __**"Oh, hi. Hi... Are you mad at me, Maur?"**__, Jane interrupted her and she really sounded drunk._

_Was she able to drink? Maura wondered._

_"Hi... I... I don`t know, Jane. ARE you drunk?", it just slipped out._

_Jane snorted on the other end of the line.__** "I wish!"**__, she answered hoarse._

_"I`m sorry, that was a stupid question... I just... I don`t know what to say.", her heartbeat hammered in her ears._

_What SHOULD she say, really?_

_Fuck you, Jane, I`ve been crying every damn night cause I thought, you wouldn`t want to see me anymore and I couldn`t stand it cause you`re the most beautiful, most amazing, funniest, smartest and sexiest human being, that has ever walked the earth and I can`t stand to be without you one more minute._

_That would be the truth. But... better not._

_"I miss you too, Jane.", she heard herself say and she couldn`t believe, she actually said it out loud._

_**"...what?!"**__, Jane asked as if she has been falling asleep in the meantime._

_"Where are you, Jane?", she changed the subject._

_**"I... what?!"**__, she asked again._

_"I said, where are you? Are you okay, Jane?!", Maura worried. Jane acted strange._

_**"No, I meant, what did you say before?".**_

_Maura remained silent. She wasn`t sure, if she should really repeat it._

_**"Maura, I ...I have to go... uhm... Sorry, for waking you up, okay? Go back to sleep... bye."**__ and the line went dead._

_"Jane, wait- JANE?!", she stared at the phone at a loss._

_Was that a bad joke?! Seriously?_

_Mauras hand dropped on her thigh. She shook her head in disbelieve._

_What the hell was that?_

_**I threw my phone on the couch and let my head drop to the window.**_

_**Congrats, Rizzoli, great job on makin an complete idiot of yourself!**_

_**I had planned on making it better, instead I made much MUCH worse.**_

_**YAY ME!**_


	15. Chapter 15

_So. This is the beginning of the end- only a few chapters left :-) Enjoy the read and see where it goes…!_

_**Chapter 15.**_

_Ten days. Ten long, meaningless, lonely days had past, without any proof of life from Jane._

_Maura knew, she missed her- great- but what did it help, if she would never see her again?!_

_She had resigned on trying to contact her. She knew, if Jane didn`t wanted to see her, Maura had no chance to change her mind._

_Instead, she bought shoes. LOTS and lots of shoes. Shoes were like chocolate for her. Or ice-cream__._

_She bought some, she felt happy for a few... well, at least a couple of minutes. _

_Working helped and it began to be easier to concentrate from day to day._

_When she got home, she distracted herself with documentaries on TV or reading real heavy stuff, that made her brain tired enough to go to sleep._

_Day ten begun like every other day of her empty, boring life- getting up, greeting Bass, shower, breakfast, morgue._

_She had some tests to run on the latest corpse and she was highly concentrated, when suddenly a hot shiver ran down her spine._

_She swirled around immediately- and there she was._

_Jane stood in the doorway like a ghost out of a dream._

_Her skin was as white as her scrubs, her hair even wilder than usual and the look in her eyes was just... wicked._

_Maura had jumped a little and Jane tilt her head to the side._

_"Jane! Why are you sneaking up on me like that?!" she whispered angrily, carefully looking around, if somebody could hear them._

_She didn`t know what to feel. She was beyond mad and beyond happy. She couldn`t decide on what to act._

_Jane just looked at her... in a creepy way._

_Was she okay? She seemed changed._

_She took a few steps closer to Maura and Maura cleared her throat._

_**"Did I scare you?"**__, Jane finally spoke up quietly._

_Maura shook her head hesitantly while she watched Jane closing the distance between them__._

_She could hear her own heart pounding in her ears._

_Breathe. steady. Breathe. steady._

_Jane didn`t seem to stop walking, so Maura backed away slowly until she bumped into the counter. Trapped._

_Janes gaze made her shiver. Was she playing again- was this a bad joke? Maura wondered._

_But the look in Janes eyes made it hard to believe._

_She stopped inches away from her, her body so close to Mauras, that the heat Jane reflected made her break out into sweat._

_"Jane? Are... are you okay?", Maura asked trembling, hoping to bring Jane back into the moment._

_But she didn`t answer. Her eyes wandering longingly over her face._

_Jane slowly raised her hand and cupped Mauras cheek, while her thumb stroke over her lips gently._

_Maura didn`t dare to move. Her breathing was heavy- she couldn`t help it._

_Was Jane out of her mind?_

_Her body was now pressed against Mauras, so she had to turn her head a little to avoid direct contact with Janes face._

_Maura was torn between arousal and... fear._

_She could feel Janes heart beat strongly against her chest, while her hot shaky breath stroke her cheek and made her tremble._

_Janes hand had travelled down her neck, her forehead almost leaned against Mauras._

_"J...Jane... what are you doing...", Maura breathed._

_Jane exhaled slowly, before she growled, __**"You know... I just wonder... if any man would touch you like- that- would you enjoy it just as much, as you do now?"**__, and her eyes pierced right through Mauras skin._

_She clearly was out of her mind. Maura was worried. Even though she had to admit, that Jane could have done anything to her right there, she wouldn`t even blink an eye._

_Janes breath was shaking, is if she trouble to hold herself back. She swalloed hard__._

_"Why, Jane…? Why are you doing this?!", she tried to bring her back to reality._

_Jane gridded her teeth, her fists clenched at the back of Mauras scrubs, pulling her even closer._

_**"Because. you. make. me."**__, Jane stated slowly, her voice a gravely growl, her mouth inches away from Mauras ear._

_Janes hot breath tingled Mauras neck and every hair on her body saluted. _

_**"I try to forget you. I really try to move on, but you are in my head**__**..**__**. I hear you, I feel you… All. the. time. And I think, I`m just losing it...**_

_**Tell me to go, Maura. Tell me, to walk out of your life and you will never see me again."**__ she whispered, her hands running over Mauras breasts down to her waist..__._

_A quite moan escaped from her lips. Every inch of her body screamed for Janes touch._

_She heard Janes shaky breath in her ear and then- she was gone._

_The cold hit her like a hammer._

_She turned around, but she knew, she was alone. Jane had left her. Again._

_Her breath was still heavy and the throbbing between her legs just wouldn`t subside._

_She headed to her office and locked the door. She settled on the couch and it only took her a minute to come, with Janes scent still lingering in her clothes._


	16. Chapter 16

_Okay, here is the next chapter- this one is longer than the last ;) I hope you like it, as always and I am always happy bout reviews. Loving all of your messages :D Thanks for makin my day! And now, enjoy the read ;)_

_**Chapter 16.**_

_**I ran.**_

_**I ran to leave myself behind. To cool my heated mind. To leave HER behind.**_

_**But no matter how far, how fast I ran, it didn`t work.**_

_**I was beyond exhaust when I closed the door behind me. My heart ached.**_

_**My throat was so tight, I could hardly breathe. Everything hurt.**_

_**Tears stung my eyes.**_

_**It was enough. I couldn`t take anymore.**_

_**The pain was eating me up inside and I was too tired to fight it.**_

_**There was no way out- no solution in sight.**_

_**I had to end it.**_

_**The last time I ate was five days ago. I was starving.**_

_**My hands were trembling and I felt dizzy.**_

_**But what if I refused? What if I just lay down and then... what?**_

_**I wasn`t able to die, but what would happen, if I just stopped eating?**_

_**I was willing to find out…**_

_Maura thought, she was____losing her mind._

_The games Jane was playing were driving her insane._

_She had lost control over her life, even over her thoughts._

_She realized, that the only purpose for her to get up every morning, to eat, to work- was Jane... the wanting of her._

_When she opened her eyes, her first thought was JANE, when she closed them in the evening, the last thing she thought was JANE and when she dreamed... guess what._

_She ate because she had to, but she felt no hunger. She showered, because it had to be done. She worked, cause she needed the money. She functioned._

_But the meaning of her life, the sense of her being- was gone._

_What should she do? There was no way for her to contact Jane, if she didn`t wanted her to._

_Maura felt numb. Empty._

_Was this how her life was supposed to be from now on?_

_The only thing that kept her going somehow, was the fact that she was able to feel Jane._

_She couldn`t quite control it, she still didn`t know how it worked._

_But every now and then, Janes feelings just washed over her, like a hot wave that pushed her off her feet._

_She could feel her despair. Her loneliness. Her rage._

_And as long, as she could feel her, there was a connection and the fear of losing her completely was at least bearable__._

_She held onto that._

_She wondered, if Jane could feel her too... of course, she could. Could she even read her mind?_

_'Oh Jane, please... give me a chance to talk to you. Don`t take away what we had. I know, you wanna save me from what you are, but I DON´T WANNA BE SAVED! Do you hear me?! Please!', she thought to herself, hoping Jane would hear it._

_Sometimes she thought, she could feel Jane react to what she was thinking but then again, she wasn`t sure, if she was just pretending__._

_Days went by. Slowly. Meaningless. Grey._

_And one day- it was three weeks now after Jane had contacted her the last time- Maura had a strange feeling._

_The connection she had felt the entire time since they had parted, grew weaker and weaker._

_At first, Maura just couldn`t figure out why... was Jane beginning to forget her?_

_She pushed that thought aside- it just couldn`t be it, she loved her. She just knew it. She still felt it._

_But something was wrong. It was a weird feeling of incautiousness... numb. Cold. Starving..._

_Maura was pondering..._

_She closed her eyes and tried to imagine Jane, feeling cold and numb and...STARVING! It hit her like a hammer. THAT WAS IT!_

_Oh my gosh, what had she done? _

_She knew, she had to hurry! _

_She counted to ten and focused on breathing to think straight._

_Jane was starving. She surely was miserable- dead yet alive._

_She had to bring her back. But how?_

_She needed blood. Fresh blood._

_Maura glanced around desperately__._

_Her eyes found her medicine bag. _

_Suddenly pieces fell into place in her mind._

_She grabbed the bag and drove to Janes house as fast as possible._

_When she arrived, she circled the house, uncertain what to do..._

_It was dark inside. The curtains weren`t closed, which was odd, cause she always closed the curtains at night._

_Maura sneaked around the corner. There. The bedroom curtain was closed._

_Her heart jumped to her throat._

_She knocked on the window._

_"Jane?! Are you there?", she paused and listened. _

_" See, I know you don`t wanna talk to me, but I have this ... REAL bad feeling, that you are not okay and if you won`t open up, I fear, I will just break the window. Do you hear me?!" she shouted._

_Silence. Nothing moved. Nothing..._

_" Jane?! I will break the window now- I mean it! Open up!", she listened closely._

_Nothing._

_She knew it. Jane couldn't hear her anymore._

_She looked around, searching._

_Near by the entry of the cemetery, she found a big rock and she picked it up, her heart hammering heavy in her chest._

_She turned around nervously, if anyone could hear or see her, but it was really no one around here after the sun had set._

_Now wasn`t it funny, how anyone in the world would run away from vampires, trying to save their lifes and she was trying to break in, to bring a vampire back to life, if you could call it so._

_She took a few steps back from the window, took a deep breath and then she threw the stone as hard as she could._

_The glass had burst into a thousand pieces and a big whole had built right in the middle._

_Maura tried to carefully open the window without gettin cut and it worked._

_The window swung open and her heart seemed to stop immediately__._

_She could see Janes slim figure laying on the bed motionless. Curled up in foetus position with her blanket over her._

_Her face wasn`t visible from where Maura stood._

_Slowly she climbed through the window, the broken glass cracked underneath her feet._

_She was afraid to look at Janes face._

_Her throat felt sore._

_Her breath was shaking heavily._

_She circled the bed carefully, without taking her eyes from Jane under her blanket._

_What did she expect? That she would jump out, screaming BOOOO and fall down laughing? She wished!_

_The silence choked her. She couldn`t even hear her breathe._

_As she arrived the other side, right in front of Janes covered up face, she had to push herself to find the courage, to really look at her._

_Her hands trembled hard, as she cautiously pulled the blanket off her face._

_Mauras eyes widened in horror. She stumbled backwards and hit the wall._

_Jane looked- dead._

_Her face was grey as stone, her eyes laying in deep dark circles. She looked years older, her hair dry and faded. _

_Maura pressed her hands on her mouth to keep herself from weeping out loud._

_She stared at her for minutes, motionless. Then she blinked and she breathed and she tried to come back to the moment._

_Focus. _

_She had no time to waste._

_She got her medicine bag from her car and ran back in. _

_Jane needed blood- and she had enough._

_First she turned Jane on her back._

_Gosh, she was so lifeless- it was horrifying._

_She searched for her syringe- found it. Needles. Check._

_She fastened the strap around her upper arm and pulled as hard as she could__.__ Then she started closing her fist to pump more blood through her veins._

_She injected the needle with trembling hands, found her vein and filled the syringe slowly._

_Now she released the syringe from the needle and blocked the incision quickly._

_The blood had to be warm and fresh, so she parted Janes lips a tiny bit to insert the injection and she carefully shot her blood into Janes lifeless mouth ._

_Gently Maura hold her chin up, so Jane wouldn`t spill anything._

_Come on, Jane... she whispered inside her head. Come on, drink it!_

_For seconds nothing happened._

_Oh my gosh, what if it wouldn`t work?!_

_Right in this moment, Janes throat started to move- finally, she swallowed._

_Maura let out a shaky breath._

_No time to celebrate- Jane needed more._

_Maura took the second doses and injected it into her mouth._

_Jane parted her lips, her tongue searching for more._

_Maura went on, she knew she could handle seven of those injections, after that, she would get sick... or at least dizzy._

_But after the second one, Maura noticed the first changes in Jane._

_The dark circles under her eyes disappeared slowly... and her skin looked rosy and smooth._

_Maura went on. Next one._

_Janes eyes fluttered open, her hair began to shine again- she was as beautiful as never before in Mauras eyes._

_She stared at her in awe._

_More. Next one._

_Jane eyes glanced around confused. She seemed not to know, what had just happened._

_She licked her lips greedy as she finally took a deep breath._

_Maura was getting the next shot ready._

_Jane sat herself up slowly, looking at Maura confused._

_**"Maura... what have you done?!"**__ she whispered hoarse and Maura was too busy to figure out, if she sounded sad or angry or both, but she didn`t care anyway._

_"Shut up, Jane!", she hissed and even though she had whispered, it sounded so mad that Jane had jumped a little._

_"What have YOU done, Jane?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? HOW, JANE?" she yelled furiously._

_Jane was clearly taken aback. She didn`t know what to say. _

_Never had she seen so much rage in Mauras eyes. She had never heard her swear before._

"_Try that one more time, and I swear, I will kill you!", Maura went on and her anger made her tremble__._

_She shook her head and pressed her arm, so she would stop bleeding. _

"_**Would you?"**__, it just slipped out, but she meant it._

_Maura stood and slapped her hard in the face__._

_Jane froze in shock, while Maura swirled around to pack her bag up, without even looking at Jane. She was so mad at her and she knew, if she would look at her right now, her anger would subside far too soon._

_Meanwhile Jane got up quietly. This was the greatest declaration of love she could ever imagine…_


	17. Chapter 17

_So, ladies, here it comes- just two chapters left! I am so excited if you will like the ending or if you will hate me- OMG! :D Please let me know what you think. And THANK YOU SO MUCH for sticking with this story. It means so much to me. And now, read :D_

_**Chapter 17.**_

_**I was too scared to talk to her. I didn`t know what to say.**_

_**But it broke my heart to see her packing her things, feeling her pain, her rage, her love.**_

_**I stood and took a few silent steps until I was right behind her.**_

_**I could still taste her in my mouth.**_

_**Never in my life had I had blood like this.**_

_**It tasted like heaven. And hell. **_

_**Like a sunrise and clouds and a stary night in the moutains.**_

_**It tasted like everything I ever loved in my life.**_

_**Maura turned around. **_

_**Her hair waved her irresistible scent over to me and my brain switched off.**_

_**Nothing else mattered.**_

_**There she was, right in front of me- my everything.**_

_**Maura opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, I had grabbed her neck and I kissed her on her trembling lips.**_

_**Time stopped. **_

_**I felt the earth move underneath my feet.**_

_**Nothing in the world could ever be softer or sweeter than these lips. So warm. So intoxicating.**_

_**I could feel our hearts beat in the same rhythm- fast and strong**__**.**_

_**I wanted to vanish inside this kiss.**_

_**I parted her lips with my tongue and as I felt hers embracing my own, hell broke loose inside of me.**_

_**Lightning shot through my body**__**.**_

_**My eyes went black. I wanted her. Now.**_

_**I grabbed her face, slit my hands into her hair and pulled her head back.**_

_**My tongue licked over her pulsing throat and I had to focus really hard, not to sink my teeth in there.**_

_**Maura moaned quietly. Fuel to my flames.**_

_**I pushed her onto the bed, pulling my own shirt over my head, while I kept sucking at her neck.**_

_**The scent of her blood made me dizzy.**_

_**Her breathing was heavy and her hands stroke up my bare back, leaving Goosebumps all over my craving body.**_

_**I ripped her blouse apart and exposed her perfectly smooth skin- her cleavage so full of freckles, it almost drove me insane.**_

_**I wanted to taste every single one of them.**_

_**The bra had to go.**_

_**I pulled her up and opened it with one hand, while biting her earlobe passionately**__**.**_

_**Her breathing increased.**_

_**I felt her passion just as strong as my own. **_

_**My lust swirled up with hers into a giant tornado and I trembled from holding me back.**_

_**The bra was gone and I pushed her back into the pillows and settled myself on top of her.**_

_**Skin on skin. She was SO. HOT... SO. SOFT. I lost my mind.**_

_**I sucked on her perfectly red and hard nipples and Maura moaned out loudly.**_

_**My teeth nibbled on her sensitive skin and I had trouble to not just sink them into her delicate flesh**__**.**_

_**The pants went flying and everything else that was in my way.**_

_**I paused to look at her for a moment. She was not from this world. She was human sunlight. She stung my eyes.**_

_**After I had got rid of my pants, I laid myself on top of her, stunned by the feeling of her body underneath my own.**_

_**She breathed into my ear. It made me so wet, I almost couldn`t stand it.**_

_**I spread her legs with my knee and pushed my thigh against her softly.**_

_**She gasped for air.**_

_**I could feel her hot wetness on my skin and I wanted to drown.**_

_**Her hands were everywhere, my head was spinning.**_

_**We found a rhythm and I knew, it wouldn`t take us too long.**_

_**Her flawless firm breasts were pressed against mine as we kissed passionately, sucking our tongues deep into our mouths.**_

_**I forgot to breath as I felt the pressure built between my legs.**_

_**Without thinking, my hand slid down her belly and she moaned out from deep inside, as my fingers dipped into her hot flesh.**_

_**Her fingernails pierced into my skin as she whimpered.**_

_**She gazed deeply into my eyes, as I felt two fingers slit into me slowly. **_

_**I cried out- I had craved this so much, it almost hurt.**_

_**My whole body was shaking hard**__**.**_

_**We rocked faster and faster against each other, her screams getting louder- I thought I would pass out.**_

_**"Maura..." , I breathed and my head sank down to her face as we moved.**_

_**I knew, it was time- I couldn`t hold back any longer.**_

_**Mauras body convulsed under me as she bit my shoulder hard.**_

_**For seconds we held on to another, trembling, trying to catch breath.**_

_**Moments past.**_

_**Finally I looked up to meet her sleepy, dreamy eyes. Oh my stars- she was so beautiful...**_

_**Her cheeks crimson red, her face and hair a sweaty mess and in her eyes- my whole world.**_

_"I love you...", Maura whispered. "I love you so so much... Don`t you ever leave me again... ever. Do you hear me?", she asked seriously._

_Janes eyes got teary. She swallowed hard._

_**"...I love you too... I always did."**__, she answered truthfully, but it sounded like "...BUT..."._

_Maura frowned a little._

_"You can`t decide, what`s best for me, Jane. I know how I feel, I know what I want... please stop pushing me away... I need you. And I will never leave you alone, no matter how hard you try. You won`t get rid of me, Jane Rizzoli, cause I love you and I want nothing else in my life, but YOU.", she told her stubbornly._

_Janes eyes were sad and absent._

_**"But we can`t have a life together, Maura. You would miss too much... and you... you would die someday and I... I could not take that. It would kill me, but I won`t be able to die, do you understand? I can`t do that, Maura, I can`t."**__, Jane closed desparedly__._

_Maura pondered a few seconds, then she stated, "Then make me one of your kind."_

_Jane snorted out, shaking her head.__** "You have no idea, what you`re talking about. I would never do that. Ever."**_

_"But why not? I have no one. No one will miss me. And I won`t miss a damn thing in this world, if I can be with you, Jane...", Maura sighed._

_A tear escaped from Janes eye. She sobbed dryly and said,__** "I really love you, Maura. You know that, right? Promise me, you will always know that, okay? Promise!".**_

_Maura glanced back at her in question. "Yes... Yes, I promise." and she leaned into a kiss._

_The tears tasted salty on their lips._

_As Jane stroke Mauras face, she rested her warm hand on her forehead._

_She pressed her eyes shut, her face a painful grimace._

_**"You will forget me, Maura Isles."**__, she said in her head, __**" You will forget that you ever knew me, you will forget that I even exist. You will wake up tomorrow and your life will be the same as it was, before you met me. You will find someone, who really, truly loves you and makes you happy. You will have a perfect life. Without me. Sleep."**_

_She opened her eyes and Maura was peacefully asleep right in front of her._

_Jane gasped. For a moment she hold her breath, her hand covering her mouth. Then she cried out loud._

_Tears were streaming down her face and her body convulsed painfully as she sobbed._

_A stony fist closed around her heart as she looked down on her sleeping lover._

_She focused on breathing. Inhale. Count to three. Exhale. Count to three. Continue._

_She sat up straight and rubbed her face. _

_Then she picked Maura up on her arms and took her home._

_She placed her on her bed, covert a blanket over her and left, without looking back._

_It would break her heart. It would break- her._

_When Maura woke up in the morning, she felt refreshed and energetic._

_The sun shone brightly into her kitchen, as she had breakfast and the birds sang, as she left the house to go to work._

_She was curious, if there were any news on the case._

_The case... suddenly she had a feeling as if she had forgotten something._

_She turned around and looked at the front door. Had she locked it up?_

_She checked it and it was locked._

_Weird. _

_She had a lot of paperwork to do, but before she would settle in her office, she went into the offices of BPD to ask Sergeant Korsak for news on the case._

_His face lit up at the question._

_"No. Nothing." he informed her and shook his head smiling._

_"Then, why are you laughing?", Maura asked curiously._

_"Because, guess what! The army knife, that first went missing over thirty years ago, went missing again!", and now he laughed out loud._

_It was Janes knife of course, but Maura couldn`t remember. Anything._

_"Can you believe it?! Jesus fucking Christ, because I can`t!", he buried his face in the palm of his hands and he giggled._

_Then he looked up and tried to keep a straight face._

_"Sorry, I just... I am too old for this shit. We checked the security tapes and there is NOTHING! One second, the knife is there, the next second, it is gone."_

_There... again... this feeling, that Maura had missed something. Had she switched the lights out, before she went to work?_

_**It took me just a few hours to figure out, what to do.**_

_**I couldn`t live without her.**_

_**Not after what we had.**_

_**Not after I tasted her.**_

_**But I wasn`t able to die.**_

_**So I needed help.**_

_**I wanted to end it.**_

_**I was tired.**_

_**I was sick of my life. My death. Whatever.**_

_**It took me just a few minutes to find the people I needed, to get my plan done.**_

_**Michael Bradley was a teacher who had abused several children in his school over the last couple of years.**_

_**Mason Wilder had punched an old man to death for change in the subway.**_

_**And Brandon Miller had drugged six women and raped them afterwards. They didn`t even know, what had happened, when they woke up.**_

_**But I knew- I knew all of it. **_

_**Cause I had time. A lot of time. **_

_**And I could watch people, without them noticing me.**_

_**I have seen a lot of crime. So much, it broke my faith in humanity.**_

_**Crime that was left in the dark, cause no one spoke up.**_

_**But I was in the dark. And I saw it all.**_

_**I found these three guys on different ends of the town, I paralyzed them and I took them with me.**_

_**My heart was so heavy, it hurt. My Maura...**_

_**I picked the right building- an old warehouse by the harbour just around the corner, where my new life had begun, 32 years ago.**_

_**When I settled down on the roof- the guys right beside me- I called the police from one of their phones.**_

_**I told them, an insane woman was standing on a roof by the harbour and she had thrown a dead body down from it.**_

_**Now- wait...**_

_**I heard the sirens long before anyone else could notice them.**_

_**Showtime.**_


	18. Chapter 18

_Hahaha, oh my gosh, what have I done? You guys are freakin out!*LOL* So sorry, I didn't meant to upset you ;) Ooookay, so let's get it done. Here is the ending. I am so so curious and excited and SCARED what you will think about it. I hope you won't be too disappointed…. Please let me know. So, time to say goodbye and THANK YOU- it was a pleasure :D See ya, dearies :*_

_**Chapter 18.**_

_**I grabbed Michael by his neck and I sank my fangs into his flesh. I sucked just enough to kill him and threw him off the roof.**_

_**Then I took hold of Mason Wilder and I waited.**_

_**The car breaks screamed in my ears, several men jumped out, their guns pointed at me.**_

_**Oh, little Vince Korsak had grown up nicely. For a second I felt like hugging him tight, my long lost friend, but then I refocused on what I had to do.**_

_**"Hands where we can see them, Lady. Hands up! Don`t move!", they yelled.**_

_**I laughed bitterly.**_

_**They shone their flashlights on me and I threw my hair back.**_

_**Vince squinted his eyes. It took a second until his face went pale.**_

_**His jaw dropped and his eyes seemed to pop out of his head. Poor him.**_

_**"Hey Vince." I said sadly and looked into his eyes.**_

_**He would recognize my voice under a million and I knew it.**_

_**He stumbled backwards.**_

_**The other cops were confused. They looked at him and from him to me and back again, trying to find a clue.**_

_**"Janey?!" he finally shouted, his voice high pitched.**_

_**"What the hell?!", I heard him say.**_

_**"Yeah, it`s me. Long time no see... I need your help, Vince.", I stated honestly.**_

_**Two cops inspected Michael and it didn`t took too long until they found the marks on his neck... and all the blood. **_

_**They looked up at me in horror.**_

_**"What... Janey, you... how...?", Vince stumbled.**_

_**"I am a vampire, Vince, and I wanna die... and obviously I can`t do it on my own- so you will do it.", I explained tired.**_

_**Korsak shook his head in disbelieve, trying to laugh at me, but he knew, I was right.**_

_**Just in that moment, one of the cops ran up to him, to tell him about the marks. His eyes widened in shock.**_

_**He looked back at me.**_

_**"I`m serious, Vince. I`m tired. I can`t take another day and if you won`t kill me, I will kill him... and him... and all of you, I swear on my mother's grave.", I pointed on Mason and Brandon- and Vince understood.**_

_**He nodded, as pale as paper.**_

_**"Okay, Janey... what... what do you want me to do?", he asked with a shaky voice.**_

_**Jane looked at him for a second and she really, really loved that guy so much right now...**_

_**Her eyes softened and she smiled sadly at him.**_

_**"I knew, you would do it, Sergeant... you grew up to be a very fine man AND a brilliant detective. I've been watching you, Vince, I really did. I am really... REALLY proud of you..."**_

_**The horrified look on his face subsided and a heartbroken smile appeared on his face. Tears were shimmering in his eyes.**_

_**"I am SO sorry, Janey...", he half whispered, but she could hear him anyway.**_

_**"I know.", she mouthed and winked at him.**_

_**"Now. What I need you to do- are you listening, Vince?", I spoke up loudly.**_

_**"Right here, Janey, keep going!", he yelled back and nodded.**_

_**"We need harpoons. At least three of them. And the arrows have to be made of wood. You understand? I don`t care, where you get them from, just get them, NOW!", I told him clearly.**_

_**He nodded and he shouted at the other cops.**_

_**"Okay, you heard the lady? Take your guns down and do something useful. Find out, where to get those harpoons!".**_

_**The boys ran around like headless chicken. If it wasn`t such a sad occasion, it would have been quite amusing.**_

_**Vince took a few steps towards the warehouse, looking up at Jane with puppy eyes.**_

_**"Can I come up to you, Janey? Or is it... dangerous... for me?", he asked carefully.**_

_**Jane fought with herself... But who could resist puppy Korsak?**_

_**She nodded and as he came up behind her, Jane was surprised how excited she was, to see him after all those years.**_

_**Their eyes locked and Jane smiled a crooked smile, while she opened her arms.**_

_**He hugged her tightly without any hesitation.**_

_**"So good to see you, my friend.", Jane whispered.**_

_**Vince released her and looked into her eyes.**_

_**"God, Janey... I don`t know what to say. I missed you so much. It was all my fault. I`m so sorry- ", and he got choked from tears.**_

_**"Oh, shut up, Vince, it was MY fault and you know it! I wanted to be the hero, I broke the rules and went in there without you, it was all MY fault and I am really sorry. And now, could you just sit with me, until they have done their jobs?", I told him honestly while he smiled through his tears and nodded.**_

_Meanwhile Maura was told, that Korsak had been called to a mysterious case, where a woman had thrown a dead body from a roof._

_Something inside of her twisted._

_Again this strange feeling, that she had forgotten something, but ten times stronger, this time._

_There was a lot of paperwork to do, but something told her, that she should go and join Sergeant Korsak in this new case._

_So she got in her car and she drove, lost in thoughts._

_**Vince and I sat next to one another, silently, holding hands. There was nothing else to do or say**__**.**_

_**Suddenly a van showed up and two men got out. The harpoons**__**.**_

_**I exhaled slowly. **_

_**Vince closed his eyes.**_

_**I squeezed his hand gently... and he squeezed back.**_

_**"We´re ready, Sergeant Korsak!", one of the boys yelled up to us.**_

_**He looked at me in question.**_

_**I nodded without looking back at him.**_

_**He sighed and stood... then he pressed a kiss on my hair... and he left.**_

_**Tears fell from my eyes. **_

_**So this was it.**_

_**"What now, Janey? How do you want us to do it?", Vince asked.**_

_**I inhaled. Exhaled. Then I stood up.**_

_**"Okay, I will come down now. Don`t panic, okay? I won`t do anything, I will just come down, so it is easier for you to aim at my heart, okay?", and they nodded.**_

_Maura arrived at the crime scene and what she found, was just weird._

_No one pointed a gun, but there were four policemen with... was that harpoons?! What the hell?_

_Maura looked up to where a tall slim Woman with wild black curls stood and talked to Sergeant Korsak._

_The light flickered over her face._

_THAT FACE!_

_A flash before her eyes and something pulled Maura into a tunnel- she couldn`t breathe._

_Pictures flickered in front of her mind._

_That woman! _

_Jane! Her eyes! Her voice! Her smile! Her laughter! Her mouth kissing her lips...darkness._

_Just one second and she was back in the moment._

_She gasped for air._

_As she blinked, Jane had disappeared from the roof and was now standing right in front of the cops with the harpoons aimed at her__._

_**"Do it. Right here."**__, she pointed to her heart._

_Mauras eyes widened in horror._

_It hit Jane in the guts- MAURA._

_She was here. She could feel her. _

_**"DO IT, FOR FUCKS SAKE! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! DO I HAVE TO KILL ANOTHER ONE? COME ON, YOU LOOSERS, SHOOT ME! NOW!", **__she screamed in panic now._

_Mauras heartbeat echoed in her ears._

_**Suddenly everything seemed to happen in slow motion.**_

_**I heard the click of the harpoons getting ready.**_

_**I heard the arrows speeding through the air.**_

_**I closed my eyes and I opened my arms widely to expose my heart.**_

_**And then I heard the scream and as I opened my eyes, Maura was right in front of me.**_

_**I stopped breathing. My heart came undone.**_

_**Mauras eyes were wide as she looked at me, her mouth open, her hands pressed to the wounds.**_

_**She grimaced.**_

_**I caught her before she hit the ground...**_

_**I was on my knees, holding her tight, rocking her back and forth.**_

_**"Mm- Maura!", I cried choked from tears.**_

_**Her eyes flickered open slightly and she looked at me.**_

_**Everything around us disappeared.**_

_**"**__Take me with you, Jane..."__**, she exhaled and coughed in pain.**_

_"You left me twice, when I begged you to take me with you... don`t you dare to leave me again..."__**.**_

_**I had no words, I just whimpered.**_

_**She coughed again. Life was leaking out of her body.**_

_**I was covered in her blood.**_

_"Take me with you, Jane..."__**, she whispered weakly... and then her eyes fluttered shut.**_

_**I took a last look at Vince, then I ran.**_

_**Just one second and we were at the lake.**_

_**I looked up at the black sky.**_

_**The stars twinkled back at me.**_

_**`I wanna have this forever...´, Mauras wish echoed in my ears.**_

_**I closed my eyes as I inhaled deeply and then I sank my teeth into her skin. Deeper and deeper.**_

_**Her blood filled my whole being.**_

_**I felt it rush through my body like a hot tidal wave- and I was drowning.**_

_**Her heartbeat hammered in my ears like a base drum, so fast until...**_

_**It got slower and slower... and slower.**_

_**Close.**_

_**Now- and I let go of her.**_

_**I pulled my head back and looked down on her with fiery eyes.**_

_**Then I grabbed the arrows- one after another- and pulled them out of her body with great force.**_

_**She made no sound.**_

_**I fumbled dads knife out of my pocket and I cut my wrist.**_

_**Dark red blood leaked out of the wound and I pressed it to Mauras mouth.**_

_**It took a few seconds until she started drinking.**_

_**Slowly at first, but soon, she grabbed my wrist with both fists and sucked greedily**__**.**_

_**I felt dizzy. It was enough.**_

_**"Okay, stop.", I said quietly and I pushed her head back gently.**_

_**Her eyes were still closed and she frowned.**_

_**Then it began.**_

_**She grew pale, her skin- smooth as silk.**_

_**I stared at her in awe as the wounds began to heal. Quickly.**_

_**She swallowed a couple of times, until she finally opened her eyes.**_

_**There was a golden sparkle to it now. I was stunned.**_

_**Her eyes wandered over the night sky in wonder, until she met my eyes.**_

_**"Hey...", I tried to smile.**_

_**She wanted to sit up, but her head wouldn`t let her. I remembered. The pain.**_

_**"Easy, baby. Don`t move. It won`t hurt for long. Give it some time...", I stroke her hair.**_

_**She noticed the changes. I could tell from her eyes and from the heartbeat that was louder than anything else. And I felt her fear.**_

_**After a few more minutes, she tried again and I helped her up.**_

_**She held on to my hand.**_

_**Then her eyes wandered down her chest. Her hands searching her body...**_

_"...You... you- did it."__**, she said hoarse and looked back at me with wide teary eyes.**_

_**Oh gosh, she would hate me.**_

_**"Yes. I. am. so. sorry.", I told her honestly, but she paid me no attention.**_

_**She was looking around furiously.**_

_**"I know. It´s overwhelming. You will have to learn to get used to it.", I told her frankly and she seemed to be focused on anything but me.**_

_"That´s... oh my gosh... it`s so..."__**, she was at a loss for words and then- she smiled. At me. Bright and warm and wonderful.**_

_**I died. Well, if I could.**_

_"Wha...what is that? That quick ticking?"__**, she asked excited, pointing her finger as if I could see the sound.**_

_**"Oh that. That`s tiny mouse feet. You hear them running.", and the look I got for that was priceless. **_

_**She looked like a child when it got a big sugar coated cake on its birthday.**_

_**She swirled around, **__"And what`s that? This weird rubbing sound?"__**, and I pointed up the tree.**_

_**"It`s a bat, scratching itself.". Her jaw dropped.**_

_**She walked a couple of steps, spinning around herself.**_

_**I couldn`t help but watch her, smiling stupidly to myself.**_

_**She was adorable.**_

_**Then she turned around, **__"What´s that?"__** and she imitated a funny sound.**_

_**I couldn`t suppress a giggle. It felt good.**_

_**"It`s a squirrel, eating nuts.".**_

_**She laughed out loudly, her mouth still open in wonder.**_

_"My gosh, this is AMAZING! How can you not love that?! _

_**I thought, I should try something.**_

_**So I just looked at her and I thought, "I love YOU." and I smiled.**_

_**She jumped up and down as she squealed.**_

_**It worked.**_

_"Oh my... I can`t even... do that again!"__**, she said out of breath.**_

_**"You can do it yourself.", I thought and she shook her head laughing.**_

_**Then she looked at me so concentrated that I burst out laughing.**_

_"Stop! I can`t do this, when you`re laughing at me!"__**, she complained, but I held my belly and I just couldn`t stop.**_

_**Suddenly her voice entered my brain,**__ "Check. Can you hear me?"__**.**_

_**Now it was my turn to squeal.**_

_**She jumped again. Oh my.**_

_"Okay, teach me everything I need to know and then- let us grab some dinner, I am starving."__**, she babbled.**_

_**I couldn`t believe my ears.**_

_**"Uhm, you mean like... blood- dinner? Cause, you know...", I stammered and she just grinned at me.**_

_"Yeah, I know. I meant blood. Who would have thought, it would taste soooo DELICIOUS? And I can`t wait to suck dry some rapist or murderer... it`s so intoxicating, isn`t it? To bring justice- I mean. You know, I mean... I am not one for murderer, you know that, but since we have to eat to stay healthy, it seems like the best choice, right? And there are criminals all over the world, right? We don`t have to stay here. We are free to go... anywhere..."__**, she stopped talking as she realized how I ogled her like a lovesick fool.**_

_**She came up to me and stroke my face gently. Her hand on my skin felt like heaven.**_

_**I looked down into her golden sparkling eyes and everything shifted into place. This was it. This was right. This was destiny.**_

_**She put her arms around my waist and pulled me closer. **_

_**I vanished into her eyes. And her scent.**_

_"Thank you so much, Jane. I was dead my whole life long... and now... you gave me birth by taking my life... you will never understand just how much I love you..."__**.**_

_**I swallowed hard and then I kissed her. Long and passionate and meaningful.**_

_**"I love you more.", I thought and she smiled.**_

_**The puzzle was complete. We were one**__**.**_

_**Then I took her hand and I smirked at her.**_

_**"Ready?"**_

_"For what?"_

_**"RUN!"**_

_**And she squealed... **_


End file.
